


Alex's Firsts

by ClexaPaily



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex x Maggie - Freeform, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Coming Out, Eventual Smut, F/F, Feels, First Time, Kissing, Lesbian Sex, Lovey-Dovey, Making Out, POV Alex Danvers, Sanvers - Freeform, Self-Discovery, Smut, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, adorable alex, all the feels, and some minor praise kink, but also really romantic, comforting Maggie, crying with joy, maggie x alex, messy Alex, okay I just really love sanvers, sexy feelings, there is a lil talking of the dirty, they love each other a lot, this is basically really cute porn okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-09-03 03:39:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 34,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8694979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClexaPaily/pseuds/ClexaPaily
Summary: This fic begins as a continuation of the super-awesome, omgwtf how what, kiss scene starting at Pizza Night and moving forward. I got inspired to imagine how Sanvers' relationship would unfold from there so this fic runs parallel to aspects of the show but also diverges from it at points. And yeah there's eventual smut (like a lot), but also lots of feelings. This is an exploration of their relationship and Alex sorting herself out as a person in the context of the sexy stuff. Have I mentioned that this fic contains a lot of feelings?And before the sexy stuff there's a bunch of kissing and some pushing of the envelope in terms of what is / is not ladysex. And fluff. So much adorable fluff. They are a really special pairing and love each other so much. Also: I love them. So. Much.





	1. Why Kissing Was Invented

“Life’s too short,” Maggie said. “And… we should be who we are. And we should kiss the girls that we want to kiss.”

What? Wait. What?

It slowly dawned on Alex what she meant, that "girls" meant Alex. Then Maggie looked up at her, eyes shining, her face radiating with joy and anticipation and maybe a little uncertainty about how Alex might react. “And I really just… I… I want to kiss you.”

Alex stood bewildered as Maggie reached towards her face, pulling Alex into a firm but gentle kiss that stunned everything within her. Alex stiffened at first, her eyebrows jumping up in astonishment. She reached out to grasp Maggie’s arm, caressing the sleeve of the leather jacket Maggie hadn’t even bothered to take off before she had said what she came to say.

Again, like their first kiss in the bar, the one Maggie had backed away from, this had happened so fast. Alex hadn’t even fully registered Maggie’s words yet. Until she did. Alex broke the kiss this time, but not in an attempt to back away. Her analytical mind got the better of her before she could melt into this sudden turn of events. Two minutes before she had been puzzling over what to make for dinner while she enjoyed an after-work drink, and there she was in Maggie’s arms. It was too much to compute all at once.

Alex gazed into Maggie’s smiling eyes, holding up a finger as if to call a time out. “So you’re saying you like me…” It wasn’t so much a question as a request for confirmation. “That’s… that’s what I got.” She gestured with her raised finger to refer to this moment of connection.

Maggie’s smile hadn’t faded in the least as she nodded in assent. “Of course you’re not gonna go crazy on me are you?”

Alex grasped her own hands to her chest in some attempt to ground herself, because right now it felt like she was starting to float above the room. “Probably.” It was true. This didn’t feel like reality. She continued to question her sanity a little, despite the reassurance.

Maggie snickered, nodding her head again. “Yeah.” She appeared to intuit what Alex meant.

Having received the confirmation she needed, which Alex could read all over Maggie’s face, she reached towards the other woman’s (woman’s!) beautiful, dark hair and did something she had dreamed about doing every night since she met Maggie. It was a simple gesture, a romantic gesture she had seen in the million rom-coms she and her sister Kara had watched together. It was a gesture that spoke of softness and caring, a chance to take a moment to look deeply into Maggie’s eyes. She reached up, gently, as though Maggie were the softest, most delicate thing in the world, and touched the lustrous dark hair, smoothed it as she brushed it out of Maggie’s face. In reality it was far silkier than the hundred times she had imagined it.

She found she couldn’t stop touching Maggie now, didn’t want to break the connection. Her hands traveled to Maggie’s beautiful face, and the contact felt so intimate, so warm, so breathtaking, she found herself driven to touch those lips with hers again. In fact, nothing could have stopped her. Instinct took over. All worry about whether she was a good kisser, whether she knew what she was doing, what it would be like to kiss a woman – all those concerns melted away the moment Maggie’s lips sought after hers in response.

Alex pulled Maggie closer, heart expanding inside her chest, threatening to explode with the joy and relief and triumph she felt as her emotions finally caught up with her reality. Her lips grasped at Maggie’s of their own accord. She savored the feel of their luscious softness. Her senses came alive as she suddenly noticed everything at once – the smell of the other woman’s perfume mixed with lavender shampoo mixed with something that was inherently… Maggie. Everywhere Maggie touched, even through Alex’s pajamas, felt like electricity coursing through her skin. Again, her arms took on a mind of their own as she slid Maggie’s jacket over her shoulders and onto the floor. She marveled at the suddenly awakened need to feel more, and she snaked her arms around Maggie’s waist, pulling the beautiful woman closer still.

Maggie was everywhere she looked, smelled, touched. Maggie. Maggie. Maggie. Alex couldn’t stem the need to taste her too. She brushed her tongue along the inside of Maggie’s lower lip, requesting entry. Maggie’s lips parted and opened the kiss, allowing Alex to explore her warm mouth. As Alex grew bolder, Maggie did something… something Alex had never imagined in her wildest dreams. She drew Alex’s tongue further into her mouth with her own, and then she began gently sucking.

She was in uncharted waters now. Sure Alex had kissed a guy or two along the way when she couldn’t get out of it, but she never anticipated a feeling like this. She sensed that Maggie desired her, accepted her. Wanted her. Nothing she had ever imagined could have prepared her for the unimaginable sensation of Maggie taking a part of Alex… into her. It felt holy, beautiful, and brain-meltingly hot all at once.

Maggie continued sucking languidly, her tongue sliding apace with Alex’s. A low moan rose from the back of Alex’s throat as she again experienced something unprecedented. All at once, her body felt heated and a jolt of desire shot from her heart down between her legs, where it pulsed and flared. Certainly Alex had felt aroused before, physically. She had always pleasured herself in a mechanical sort of way, but never had she wanted, or felt wanted, not like this. Her knees buckled, and Maggie caught her by the waist.

Maggie’s gaze felt like it was penetrating her soul, “Are you okay?” Concern was written on her beautiful features. “Is… this… okay?”

Alex tried and failed to catch her breath, felt herself redden as she realized how much she had let her guard down with Maggie. How obviously inexperienced she was. She took another deep breath before attempting to speak.

“It’s just… It’s just…” She gulped another breath and tried to will away the heat and pressure of the blush that enveloped her whole head. “I’ve never…”

Maggie reached up to place a reassuring hand on Alex’s shoulder. “I know. It’s okay, baby.”

Alex’s eyebrows shot up, and the blush started all over again. Baby. No one had ever called her anything like that. It felt so indescribably intimate, and warm, and loving, and… precious. Maggie grabbed Alex’s hand and guided her over to the couch, setting her down on the edge of a cushion and joining her in mirror image. Maggie took both of Alex’s hands in hers. “I didn’t mean to push you too far. I know this is new for you.”

Alex finally managed to take a deep breath. “This is… all these feelings. I’ve never…” And then she sensed the tears starting to form. She pulled her hands from Maggie’s and hid her face, crumpling in embarrassment as the sobs hit. She felt Maggie move closer and put a reassuring arm around her shoulders, rubbing her back for a moment. The other arm enclosed Alex in a hug as Maggie pulled them backwards to rest against the couch cushions. Alex sobbed embarrassedly into Maggie’s shoulder, just so she wouldn’t have to look at her. Alex couldn’t will herself to stop.

Maggie stroked her hair soothingly as the storm of feelings came, lingered, and went. When Alex finally righted herself, she still looked down, unable to meet Maggie’s gaze. She had no idea how long she had cried in these strong arms, and even now she struggled to get back any sense of composure. Maggie kept an arm around Alex’s shoulder and handed her a Kleenex with the other hand to replace the balled-up one Alex now clutched, though had no memory of receiving or using. Alex dabbed at her eyes in a hopeless attempt to regain her dignity, finally giving up and dropping the damp Kleenex in her lap. Maggie placed two fingers gently on Alex’s chin and brought her face up so their eyes could meet. Then she grasped one of Alex’s hands in both of hers.

“I’m sorry.” Alex whispered.

“Don’t be. I’m… honored and kind of awed right now. To share this with you.”

“What? How?” Alex spluttered and then caught her breath again. “I’m the one who should be…” Her voice trailed off.

Awed. That’s what Alex felt too. Awed and aching with regret that she had somehow been denied the wonder of this moment all her life. Awed. Overwhelmed. She felt the tears start to form again.

“I get it, you know.” Maggie’s smile came back, not the full hundred watts, but her eyes sparkled like they did every time she looked at Alex.

“No. Thanks for saying so, but you don’t.” Maggie stayed silent so she could continue. “I’m just… just … overwhelmed right now. You have no idea. I had no idea. I’m just… I’ve never kissed anybody because I wanted to. I didn’t know what it was like to want to kiss anybody, much less actually kiss them. And you’re not just anybody. You’re you, and here I was kissing you, and then…”

“It’s okay, baby. What is it?” And there it was again. That word. Alex felt it roll through her body, her whole being. Acceptance. Understanding. Maybe love.

“Well… in a nutshell, I guess I just…” Alex looked down again. Unable to say it.

Maggie touched her chin again and gently brought her face upward. “I’m here with you. You can tell me anything.”

“Well… I think I’ve suddenly realized why kissing was invented.” She smiled at Maggie through puffy eyes.

Maggie’s right eyebrow quirked in response, and she flashed a knowing look, but still asked, “What do you mean?” because clearly Alex needed to say these things out loud.

“I thought it was something people did for show, or in the movies, or… I don’t know. Like it was obligatory or something.” Alex paused to catch her breath again.

Maggie waited as Alex tried to corral her racing thoughts.

“I mean, I’ve kissed guys when I had to, but it was never anything like this.”

“I think I can relate.”

Alex continued. “But… no. I’m in my late 20s and… I dunno. I feel like a teenager. Experiencing everything for the first time but so much later in life, and I just feel so… stupid.”

Alex paused again for breath. “Like how did I not _know_? How could I have missed something this… this… I don’t really have words for what this feels like.”

Maggie reached up, repeating Alex’s gesture from before, and gently – so sweetly, with all the warmth and understanding there is in the world – ran her fingers through Alex’s hair and smoothed one side of it behind an ear. Alex blushed again and looked down as Maggie’s face moved closer to hers. She felt soft lips lightly brush her ear.

“I’ve got you.” Maggie whispered. “I’m here for this. For you.” The breath that accompanied Maggie’s words tickled the inside of Alex's ear as she felt those pretty lips make soft, teasing contact. The lightning bolt of desire shot through Alex again, all the way to her core. She sucked in a sharp breath and turned to meet Maggie’s gentle gaze. Alex closed her eyes and moved to kiss those lips again, but she jumped back in mild shock when she found nothing but air, eyes popping open to the sight of Maggie’s most devilish grin.

“I think the pizza may have gotten cold. You still hungry?” And, though mildly disappointed at the momentary loss of contact, Alex found that she was indeed in need of a little sustenance.

“Yeah. I’ll turn on the oven.”

The two moved through the kitchen together to prepare for the simple meal, a deft dance that portended an easy domesticity, fitting in like a puzzle piece next to the unanticipated desire that now stirred in Alex’s heart.


	2. I'm Yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Maggie go on their first official date. Get ready for fluff, because it's about to get romantic and girlfriend-y up in here. 
> 
> I retitled this work because I decided to continue writing these as a series of "firsts" for Alex after coming out, one chapter each. This chapter is pretty much rated T, but the whole thing is rated M for sex references with an option on possible sexytimes later. We'll see. Oh who am I kidding? Yes, there will be sexytimes.

Alex stood in front of her closet, feeling like a teenager for the hundredth time. The irony of standing and staring confusedly into a closet wasn’t lost on her either, having just come out of a metaphorical one herself. But the only thing that confused her now was what outfit to wear. At the end of what Alex now called Pizza Night, the evening Maggie had confessed her feelings, she had also asked Alex out.

***

“Danvers.” Maggie swallowed the last of her beer after they had eaten most of the pizza. “Hey, Danvers.”

A happily buzzed Alex smiled off into space until she realized Maggie was speaking to her. “Oh yes. Sorry. I got caught up again. Are you sure you’re really here? That this is really happening?”

Maggie walked around the table and bent down to kiss Alex squarely on the lips. “Yes, it is. I promise.”

“I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to do that again. I’m still not convinced.”

Maggie kissed her again, softly this time, lingering a little more. Alex, feeling a little bolder after three beers, stood up and pulled Maggie towards her then proceeded to deepen the kiss without much prelude.

“Woah there, Tiger.” Maggie pulled back just a little but Alex still held her tightly. “You wanna save some of that for our first date?”

Alex grabbed Maggie’s hands in hers and whirled them both around a couple of times in a spontaneous mini-dance of joy.

“Sawyer, did you just ask me out on a date? Because yes.” She hopped up and down for emphasis. “Yes. Yes. Yes!”

Maggie’s eyebrows quirked a little, “So I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Yes?”

“But I have work tomorrow. I really need to go home.”

Alex took this opportunity to make an exaggeratedly pouty face. “Do you have to?”

“Well, let’s see. I like you. That’s been established. You like me. And I don’t want to accidentally rush you into anything you’re not ready for, especially in your compromised state…”

Alex considered her words. “Well, I guess you’re right. We should go on a proper date first.” Then she realized what she had implied there and immediately blushed, looking downward sheepishly. “Uh…”

“Oh really?” Maggie smirked. “Duly noted. Date first, then…”

Alex cut her off. “Umm so anyway, yes, date. When would you like to go out?”

“I’ll text you tomorrow.”

Alex blurted, “No.”

“No?” Maggie put on her jacket.

Alex grabbed her hand as they headed to the door. “No, silly. Text me when you get home so I know you got there okay.” She immediately realized how girlfriend-y that sounded and grinned goofily.

Maggie responded by smiling and leaning in for a disappointingly chaste goodnight kiss. As soon as Alex closed the door, she bounded over to the couch and collapsed onto it, hugging a throw pillow. _I’m going on a date with Maggie Sawyer._ She realized how dorky she was, but between the three beers and the giddiness, she didn’t care right now.

***

Ever since Pizza Night, Alex’s emotions had swung like a pendulum between regret and elation at any given moment. Regret and not a little disbelief that she had missed out on the beauty and deliciousness of a life fully lived, but elation that, well, now she was living it. And also about whatever was happening with Maggie, who popped into her mind at every idle moment of the day, and plenty that shouldn’t have been idle.

She finally chose a red sweater and black jeans to go with her favorite boots. She liked the way the sweater hugged her body, and she hoped Maggie would like it too. Alex had tried not to let herself overthink things, but she couldn’t help wondering how the night might end up. She definitely wanted Maggie. It was only a matter of time. But she still got flustered even thinking about the awkwardness that might ensue due to her inexperience. And when she was honest with herself, she was also wary of getting her heart broken. Despite how things stood now, she still felt a few pangs from Maggie’s initial rejection of her when Alex had first made her feelings known. She definitely did not want to relive that. Inevitably, though, she would remember the feel of Maggie’s soft lips touching hers, and it lit up her heart… and, um… other places too.

Alex’s phone buzzed. Maggie. “I’m on my way.” It gave Alex barely enough time to fret about her makeup and whether or not to wear any jewelry. She decided on something understated, a black silk necklace holding a piece of lapis set in silver. She went with her usual light makeup since they weren’t going anywhere too fancy.

Her heart jumped with delight when Maggie knocked at the door. Alex opened it to find the smiling, dark-haired beauty holding out a bouquet of fresh seasonal flowers with a few roses mixed in. “What? No, you didn’t.”

Maggie winked at her. “Uh, yeah I did. What, did you think I’m not going to treat you right on our first date?”

Maggie opened her arms, still holding the flowers, beckoning for a hug and a kiss. Whatever words Alex was going to say melted on her tongue. The kiss was brief though not a peck, but it took Alex’s breath away. She pulled back to get some air. “Let me put these in some water.” She took the flowers. “Come on in for a minute.”

Flustered, Alex clattered through a few cabinets until she found a vase, then set about trimming the stems and putting the flowers in water, aware that Maggie watched her, smiling radiantly the whole time.

Satisfied with her makeshift flower arranging, Alex walked over and grabbed Maggie’s hand, drawing a nervous breath and taking in the sight of the other woman’s beaming face. “You know, no one’s ever done this for me before. I mean, you know, somebody I like.”

“So does this mean you like me?” Maggie paraphrased Alex’s words from a few nights before, also mimicking her hand gesture referring to the two of them. “Because that’s what I’m getting here.”

Alex looked down, blushing again, but moved closer to Maggie so she could hug her. “Yes.” She whispered. “I definitely like you.” Maggie wrapped her arms around Alex gently, not letting go right away. Alex melted into the embrace, never wanting to leave the doorway. But they had dinner reservations.

***

Maggie took her to Fino’s, a Mediterranean-Italian place in an out-of-the-way nook near downtown, romantic and ambient, but not stuffy or formal. Alex felt her heart expand a little every time Maggie added little date-like touches such as pulling out Alex’s chair or opening the door for her.

After the waiter poured two generous servings of Pinot Grigio, Maggie lifted her glass and caught Alex’s eye. “To you, my beautiful girl. I hope tonight is everything you want it to be.”

Alex lifted her glass, never breaking Maggie’s gaze, “It already is.” They clinked glasses and sipped as Alex realized what Maggie had said. She put her glass down clumsily.

“Hold it. Did you just say ‘my’?”

Maggie smiled over the table at her. “Well, I think I actually said, ‘my beautiful girl’?”

Alex nearly choked on her next sip of the wine. No one had ever called her beautiful before, which caused her to blush yet again in Maggie’s presence. But ‘my’? Her mind balked at this.

“Am I?” Alex stammered.

“What?”

“Yours.”

Maggie reached over and placed her hand on Alex’s. “Do you want to be?”

Alex could feel her eyes shining now. Impulsively, she pulled Maggie’s hand across the table and leaned over to kiss it softly. She looked up to see Maggie’s eyes shining in the candlelight too, taking a conscious mental picture, knowing intuitively she would treasure it always.

Gazing at Maggie, she realized she hadn’t answered yet, but she didn’t have to search for her response. “I… I already am.”

She also noticed the waiter conspicuously hanging back while they had their moment, so she let Maggie’s hand slip out of hers, and he came over to take their order.

***

In the parking lot after dinner, Maggie opened the car door for Alex, who stopped short of getting in, instead turning to put a hand on Maggie’s cheek. She grasped Maggie’s hip with her other hand and pulled her in for a slow, intentional kiss. Alex poured every ounce of feeling into the kiss, hoping her lips could express what her words couldn’t.

Maggie, wide-eyed, clearly noticed the change in Alex’s energy. “Wow. What’d I do to deserve that?”

“I just wanted you to know. That’s all.”

“Know what?”

“That I meant it.”

“Meant what?” Maggie clearly knew but was going to insist she say it.

“That I’m yours. And you’re mine…” Alex hesitated for a moment. “That you’re my… girlfriend.”

“Yes.” Maggie beamed. “And you’re my girlfriend too.”

“So how does this work… this ‘being girlfriends’ thing?” Alex legitimately wanted to know because she really hadn’t thought this far into it, hadn’t let herself consider the actual reality of being Maggie’s girlfriend.

“Well, how would you like it to work?”

Alex’s eyebrows knitted up for a moment. “Well, uh. I guess we’ll hang out together and go on cute dates and make everyone else vomit at how cute we are once we decide to tell them.” She stopped herself. “But right now I just want to keep you to myself. I mean, I’ll tell Kara, but I just want to get used to… us first.”

Maggie leaned in for another kiss. “We have time to sort all that out. Right now I just want to get to know you and spend time with you.” She grinned at Alex. “Speaking of, what are you doing this weekend?”

“Well, I don’t have a shift on Saturday, and I don’t think you do either. You know what that means?”

“Tell me, Danvers.”

“I’m going to make you dinner at my place Friday, and we can have a movie night.”

Maggie smirked. “Wait, are you proposing ‘Netflix and chill’?”

“Well, um. I, uh.” Alex faltered. “I mean…”

Maggie touched Alex’s cheek reassuringly. “I’m just yanking your chain, Danvers. We can take things at whatever pace is comfortable for you. I’m here for all of it.”

Alex sighed as she got into the car. Girlfriend. _Maggie Sawyer is my girlfriend_. God, was she going to start writing Maggie’s name or their initials or “Mrs. Alex Sawyer” on all her notepads now? Because that’s kind of what she felt like doing. So strange to be an adult and feel all these buoyant teenage emotions, but she decided to just go with it instead of chastising herself. Unadulterated bliss presents itself so rarely in life, and Alex allowed herself to indulge, forgetting for now even the pangs of having denied herself for so long.

They listened to music on the way to drop Alex back at home, not needing to say much, just enjoying each other’s presence. But Alex’s heart sang at top volume along with the radio. For the first time in her life, she fully got why people listen to all those sappy love songs.


	3. Getting Gayer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Netflix and something. Alex gets more comfortable with Maggie while they watch a movie. Or try to watch one anyway. Oh yeah, and somebody mentions the L-word, and I don't only mean lesbian.

At this point, Alex and Maggie were “dating,” something Alex had never really done in the past. But now she had a girlfriend. A _girl_ friend. Because she was a lesbian, and Maggie Sawyer was her girlfriend. And this thought filled her with glee every single time she thought it. Sure she’d had a few drunken, fumbling incidents with a couple of guys in college, had gone out on a few isolated dates here and there as set-ups or favors for friends, but she never felt much for any of them. She had certainly felt nothing like this. Her studies and later her work always came first, or at least that’s what she told people. She’d even convinced herself that she just didn’t have time for relationships.

But now she found herself thinking about Maggie all the time. Well, nearly all the time. It had started to affect her work, at least the non-crucial desk tasks. Thoughts of Maggie certainly never intruded out in the field where there was no room for any thought other than staying alive, protecting her team, and catching some dangerous bad guy. But the rest of the time? Well… Maggie was _always_ somewhere in the background of her mind, if not the foreground. And increasingly those thoughts ended up… umm… somewhere in Alex’s pants too.

She had never seen herself as a sexual person, but every time she was in the same room with Maggie – or just imagined being in the same room with the witty, dark-haired beauty – her entire body came alive in a way she had never experienced in the past. It was like everything before had been a dream, and now she was awake. Not just her nether regions but her whole being – heart, mind, everything – but, okay yeah, fine, her whole being found itself concentrated in her nether regions some of the time. Maggie could touch her in the most innocuous way possible, just hold her hand or brush her elbow, and Alex felt that now familiar pulse between her legs, felt her heart expand in her chest. Naturally, being a trained scientist, she was aware of the action of blood vessels dilating as a sexual response to desired stimulus, but that made it no less thrilling.

Alex hadn’t had much of a fantasy life before meeting Maggie and coming out, but since then and most especially since they had started seeing each other, her imagination had whirred into overdrive. She had started noticing the beautiful women all around her. Where had _they_ been before? “Research” on how women have sex had suddenly become a priority, but much of what she found seemed staged, physiologically implausible, and frankly unappealing. (Giant sculpted fingernails – dangerous much?) Still, it gave Alex a general idea, and she found a few images that were more realistic and therefore… intriguing. Not nearly as intriguing as the thought of Maggie naked, though. That thought alone was enough to put her over the edge when she was home by herself, hand down her pants, a position she had found herself in a lot lately. The concept that naked Maggie could be an actual reality in the not-too-distant future still overwhelmed her though.

Being with a woman for the first time – and if one wanted to get technical, probably her first time-first time – was a huge deal to Alex. She wanted to make sure things were right with Maggie before she went all in, because Alex knew sex would mean “all in” for her. As comfortable as Alex felt with her new girlfriend, she still guarded her heart. And frankly, she was still intimidated by her own inexperience. Alex was so accomplished in all other areas of her life, it just felt wrong to be such a novice at something that’s a normal part of most adults’ lives. She feared being a failure at sex.

Alex’s thoughts continued like this as she finished making dinner, pan seared salmon with linguini alfredo and sautéed fresh green beans. She had showered and put on fresh clothes after the gym. Since this was supposed to be Netflix and … something, she wasn’t sure what to wear, so she went casual – a concert T-shirt, some loose jeans, and the sandals she often wore around the apartment.

She had debated about wearing a bra or not. Would it be convenient to go braless while making out? Would it be sexier that way? Or presumptuous? Would they even get to that point? So confusing. In the end, Alex decided to wear her nicest bra, a navy blue push-up with a little lace around the top. That way, if Maggie did see it, at least Alex wouldn’t have on a shabby, faded sportsbra with some sketchy, worn-out elastic. She shivered a little at the thought of Maggie sliding down the straps of her pretty bra slowly, reaching around to unhook it, then… God, it gave her chills.

Alex was jolted out of her reverie by the knock. Finally.

Her anxious thoughts dissipated the second she opened the door to Maggie. She would never tire of the sight of this beautiful girl in her hot leather jacket, motorcycle helmet in tow. In her other arm Maggie carried a nice bottle of white wine.

“Let me get those for you.” Alex set the wine on the table, the helmet and jacket on an empty dining chair. She turned back around to look at Maggie again. Her girlfriend wore a flannel shirt and jeans in a masculine cut that still managed to show off her compactly muscular but curvy figure. God.

“Hi, baby.” Maggie smiled her generous smile and extended her arms. Alex’s body propelled itself into them with magnetic force. She buried her face in Maggie’s neck, inhaling her scent, unable to stop herself from planting kisses everywhere her lips found exposed skin. She pulled Maggie’s shirt aside a little to pepper her shoulder, then her neck and collarbone, then her chin and the side of her face, followed by a slow, gentle but earnest, searching kiss to her lips.

“Um, wow.” Maggie exhaled audibly. “That was,” she exhaled again, “damn… what a nice welcome.” She shook her head back and forth a couple of times as if to snap herself back into reality. “Well now, I guess I’ll have to show you how much I missed you too.”

Maggie leaned back in and took Alex’s bottom lip in both of hers and worked it with her lips and tongue, slowly, sensuously, then released it, only to do the same with Alex’s top lip. Alex caught onto the game and did the same with Maggie’s bottom lip, completely losing herself in Maggie’s gorgeous, succulent lips for one glorious moment. And for now at least, Alex was sated. This felt like enough, like home, like everything she had ever needed.

And it was. Until she heard – or rather sensed – tiny moans coming from Maggie. It was then that she realized Maggie wanted her too. God. And there it was again. The pulsing between her legs. Alex had managed to control so much about her life, but this aching need? This was way beyond her control. And Maggie’s too, apparently. She hadn’t, until this moment, fully appreciated that Maggie might actually want her just as badly, that Maggie’s body could well be doing the same things as hers.

They separated, and Alex peered at Maggie a little sheepishly, “Hey, uh, I really hate to stop this. Like I really _really_ hate to stop this, but I made a nice dinner, and maybe we can eat before it gets cold this time, unlike Pizza Night.” She smiled, as much to herself as at Maggie, thinking of Pizza Night.

“Everything certainly smells great. Anything I can do to help?”

“Yes, thanks. Here, can you open the wine?” Alex handed Maggie a corkscrew. “And my phone’s hooked up to those speakers over there. You can put on whatever music you want.”

Maggie made quick work of the cork and poured a couple of glasses. Then she set Spotify to a Motown station. “So do you set the table like this every night?”

“No, only for lady callers I’m trying to impress.” Alex winked.

“You getting a lot of lady callers these days, Miss?” Maggie faked a reasonable John Wayne voice.

Alex joined in with an exaggerated Western damsel. “No, sheriff. I swear. Please don’t arrest me. Who’ll take care of the homestead?”

Maggie switched back to her normal voice and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. “Well, I am a police officer. So I actually do have hand restraints with me at all times.”

“And I walked right into that one, didn’t I? Although I am a DEO agent, so I also…” Alex realized what she was saying and felt her whole head heat up and probably redden like a beet.

Maggie closed the distance between them and handed her a glass, placing her other hand comfortingly on Alex’s shoulder. “You… you don’t have to be embarrassed about anything, okay? I know we haven’t really talked about sex, but I don’t think it’s wrong of me to assume we’re working our way towards that. You know, eventually.”

Alex turned around briefly to grab the plates she had prepared and set them on the table. In a spontaneous gesture of lady-chivalry, she pulled out Maggie’s chair for her then sat down in front of her own plate. She avoided Maggie’s gaze through all of it.

“I know, Maggie. And we are… headed that direction.” She looked down at her plate. “This is just hard for me. You have to know I want you.”

Maggie reached over and gently urged Alex’s chin up so they could see eye to eye. Maggie whispered. “I know.”

Alex grabbed Maggie’s hand and kissed her palm. “As in, I want you so bad it’s blowing my mind. I have never had these feelings before. I never knew these feelings existed. For anybody. Much less me.”

Maggie whispered again. “I know.”

“I just never knew what people were talking about when they talked about love. It’s like my brain didn’t process it or something…” Alex stopped herself. “Oh. God. I mean…”

Maggie’s eyes grew wide. “Alex, I…”

Alex panicked. Her breath quickened. Her heart pounded. “Oh no. I didn’t mean. Wait, I…” She had said the word. It was too soon. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. No no no.

Maggie jumped up from her chair and grabbed Alex, pulling her up into an embrace with Alex’s head on her shoulder. “Shhhh, baby. Shhhh. It’s okay. You’re okay.” Alex’s breath slowed as Maggie rubbed her back for a moment then slowly sat them both back down. Maggie pulled her chair closer. Tears had formed at the edges of Alex’s eyes.

Maggie’s voice broke as she reached for a napkin to blot Alex’s face. “Baby, please don’t cry. Please. You didn’t let me finish.” She looked on the verge of tears herself.

She finished blotting and grabbed both of Alex’s hands. Somehow, her gaze was fierce but also gentle as she looked deeply at Alex for what felt like a long time. “Alex Danvers, I love you. I thought I had loved before, but I have never felt this for anyone, ever. You are smart. You are ridiculously well educated. You are funny. You are sweet.”

Her tone grew more passionate. “You are a badass. You have a really cool job. You are so so hot. And you are ridiculously adorable.”

Maggie’s voice increased in volume and intensity as she continued. “And I don’t care how inexperienced you are in the sack. When you are ready, and only when you are ready, we are going to fuck like bunnies until we physically can’t anymore.” She pounded her pointy finger into the table when she said “fuck” and “bunnies,” in a way that looked a little painful.

“And I can’t wait to do that because I am so in love with you you’re all I can think about most of the time. And when I say most of the time I mean especially when I’m trying to go to sleep at night, if you know what I mean.” Maggie realized how loud she’d gotten and looked around, as if concerned she had disturbed the neighbors.

Alex sat in stunned silence. After a long moment she opened her mouth to speak but found she couldn’t.

The words echoed in Alex’s mind. _Love_ , Maggie had said. _In love_ , even.

Alex’s mind buzzed. Steam whistles wailed. Fireworks lit up night skies. Buddhas reincarnated. New species evolved. Red giants went supernova. Galaxies collided. Fractals recombined. The universe remade itself behind Alex’s eyes in the space of seconds.

 _Love_ , Maggie had said. _Love._

Love. Alex comprehended it now.

Everything in her life had brought her to this. Her regrets vanished. The intensity of grasping love so completely – as an aware adult, having just come out, steeped in the giddy feelings of first love most people experience as a teen and just take for granted – occurred to her in that one moment with such clarity that she felt she’d just uncovered  some incommunicable secret of the universe.

Maggie smiled sweetly, her voice quieter, almost apologetic. “So anyway, let’s enjoy this delicious dinner you made for us.”

“Yeah, okay. Uh, let’s do that.”

Alex smiled, almost to herself. Getting to enjoy this dinner she had made with the woman who loved her was at once the simplest and deepest pleasure she had ever known.

She smiled blissfully at Maggie as the strains of Otis Redding’s “My Girl” wafted from the speakers.

***      *      ***

Maggie picked up both their plates and carried them to the sink. “That was incredible. Thanks for cooking. Salmon’s pretty risky, easy to dry out, but I have to say yours rivaled any restaurant I’ve been to.”

“I cover the pan after I turn it over. Traps the steam. That’s my big secret.” Alex opened the dishwasher. “You rinse, I rack?”

“Sounds good.”

Alex took rinsed dishes and utensils one by one from Maggie. “So what do you want to watch?”

“Huh?... Oh, the Netflix.” It was Maggie’s turn to appear flustered. “I hadn’t actually thought much about that. Uh, sorry.”

Alex snickered. “Well, what’s something, ya know… gay, that you think I should see?”

“Gay, huh?” Maggie paused in her dish duties, in a thoughtful pose. “Have you seen _Xena_?”

“What?” Alex spluttered. “With the cheap effects and the brass bra lady who rides around hooting at people?”

“The hot brass bra lady with her cute little sidekick having fun adventures that get gayer and gayer? Yes.”

“I don’t know about that. How about _The 100_. I heard it’s gay.” Alex hoped she sounded knowledgeable.

Maggie looked grave, eyebrows suddenly knitted. “Oh no. You don’t wanna see that. Nothing good for the gays on there.” They finished loading the dishwasher as they debated a few series, coming to no conclusion.

“We could look at my DVDs and Blu-Rays.”

Maggie looked amused and followed Alex into the living room. “How quaint. Okay, I suppose seeing your movie collection would be a good way to see what you’re really about.” She began perusing the shelves.

“I see you have a large collection of straight romantic comedies.”

“Yikes. How embarrassing. Most of those are Kara’s, I swear!”

“Sure, Danvers. Sure they are.” Maggie continued browsing. “All the _Star Wars_ movies _._ Good to know. That could’ve been a deal breaker.” She winked at Alex. “What about Harry Potter?”

“Kara has those right now.”

“Of course she does.” Maggie snickered. “Hmmm. Very gay workout DVDs - Jillian Michaels, Jackie Warner, Bob Harper. Oh hey, _Buffy,_ seasons 1-3. So you didn’t make it to the gay part of that show, I guess. But you should.”

She thumbed through a bunch of anime and several seasons of _Gilmore Girls_. “Oh, hey here we go. _Terminator 2,_ best action movie ever. Linda Hamilton is a total badass in this movie. I haven’t seen it in a while. Let’s watch it.” Maggie handed it to her.

Alex blew the dust off the case. “Yeah, I always meant to watch this one. I picked it up in a bargain bin several years ago after seeing the first one on TV.” She turned it over in her hand. “Sure, why not?”

Once Alex had fired up the movie, they settled onto the couch together. Maggie rested against a pile of throw pillows, and Alex snuggled in cozily beside her. They sipped at the wine they hadn’t finished during dinner. Once again, Alex was overcome by a beautifully overwhelming sense of comfort and ease. She allowed that warmth to spread throughout her entire being and to bask in it, and once again she felt sated in a way that seemed new but strangely familiar, like easing into a slightly too-warm bath.

Maggie was right, Linda Hamilton was a total badass in this movie. She must have trained for the role full-time for months because her arms looked like they were made entirely of heavy gauge steel cords. Alex found herself mesmerized by the movie. Not by its plot, which was riveting enough, but by Linda Hamilton’s arms. Especially because Linda dressed in tank tops and carried heavy weaponry, did pull-ups and sit-ups, wore precision tactical gear. Maggie had begun idly touching Alex’s hair and stroking Alex’s shoulder as they both watched. Alex felt her breathing grow heavier, followed closely by the now-familiar throb and a growing wetness between her legs.

Maggie’s legs shifted, and she exhaled audibly. “Wow, uh. I had, um, forgotten how hot Linda Hamilton looks in this movie.”

Alex turned towards Maggie, who looked a little flushed. “Yeah, you didn’t mention how gay this movie is. I mean, this is a gay movie, right?” Alex abruptly grabbed Maggie’s wine and set both of their glasses none too gracefully on the coffee table.

“No, it’s not, actually.” She looked uncharacteristically sheepish. “But it’s… umm… it’s making me gayer. Like right now. A lot.”

Alex shivered. “That’s funny. Cause it’s doing that to me too. I’m feeling really…” She fought for control of her shaky breath. “Really.” Maggie reached over and touched her cheek. “Gay.”

And then Alex launched herself at Maggie’s face.

In a split-second, last-ditch effort, Alex braced herself on her forearms against the throw pillows, or otherwise she might have crushed her new girlfriend in her sudden rush of enthusiasm. But Maggie was right there with a ready embrace. Alex claimed her mouth insistently in an ardent kiss, no teasing pecks of warning. She thrust her tongue into Maggie’s eager mouth, and they locked together in desperate exploration, no quarter given.

Alex had no idea where to put her hands or her feet or arms or legs – on Maggie? around Maggie? where? – so she shifted them around awkwardly trying to find purchase on the pillows. A blanket had fallen onto her from the back of the couch, so she squirmed around with it for a while until she finally gave up, letting it get tangled in the mix. She could never grow tired of kissing Maggie’s luscious mouth, but she knew from what little reaction she’d already gotten, that Maggie loved neck kisses. She slowed down to concentrate her efforts there for a while. Maggie’s breathing slowed and deepened next to her ear, and Alex tried something new. She nipped at her girlfriend’s neck, tiny bites, just enough to elicit a reaction. Maggie rewarded her with a series of small moans, which set off a chain reaction of increasingly indelicate throbs between Alex’s legs, followed by a delicious gush of wetness.

A husky, “Oh, God,” slipped out of Alex before she realized she’d said anything.

“Hmmmm” breathed Maggie. “I think I like the sound of that.”

Alex pulled up from Maggie’s neck, propping herself on her elbows. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to be pervy.”

“What?” Maggie looked sincerely astonished. She reached up and took Alex’s face in both of her hands. “Baby. There’s nothing you could want, nothing you could feel, nothing you could say, that I’ll ever call ‘pervy.’ Okay?”

Alex’s eyes grew wide. “I… I just… don’t want you to feel objectified. I’m…. I’m not…”

Maggie pulled her back down for a simple kiss. “It’s not like that between us. I know that. You know that. Here.” Maggie gestured her hands like flipping over pancakes.

“Huh? Oh, okay.” Alex got up off the couch so they could switch, not sure what was happening. Maggie got back on the couch and straddled her. Alex’s heart sped up.

“Alex, baby. There’s nothing to be afraid of. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.” She reached down and began unbuttoning her shirt.

“I’m going to take this off, if it’s okay with you.” Alex nodded her head, eyes wide.

“I’m going to take my shirt off, and I want you to know that you can look at me. It’s okay for you to look at me.” She continued unbuttoning. Alex’s eyes followed her fingers carefully.

“I want you to look at me.” She unbuttoned the last button with a glint in her eye, then slid her shirt off.

Alex looked around a few other places in the room first. Maggie stopped her. “No. You have my permission. Look at me.”

Alex met her gaze then allowed her eyes to travel downward, drinking in the exposed warmth of Maggie’s flesh, finally giving herself permission to look unabashedly, to enjoy her girlfriend’s beauty.

Maggie reached around to remove her black satin bra. Alex stopped her, propping up on her elbows. “No, wait.”

“I’m sorry baby. I didn’t mean to push things too far.”

“No I just mean.” Alex searched for words that didn’t sound embarrassing. Not finding any, she spoke anyway. “I… um… I kinda wanted to take it off of you myself.” She forced herself to look Maggie in the eye after saying it, and she found her gaze met with a knowing warmth.

“Oh… okay.” Maggie reached down and pulled Alex up by the arms and helped her up so that they were both kneeling on the couch. Alex kissed Maggie’s lips shyly, touched her collarbone lightly, dragged her fingers down Maggie’s taut stomach and shivered. She trailed her hand back up to cup Maggie’s covered breast in her hand, squeezed gently, closed her eyes and drew a shaky breath.

Alex hadn’t quite known what touching another woman’s breast would feel like, but this bra clearly had to go so she could properly find out. As delicately as she could, she snaked her hands around towards Maggie’s back and tried to undo the sleek bra. It took three attempts and a couple of giggles from both of them, but she finally got the clasp free. She let out a ragged breath as she lowered one, then the other strap, placing a kiss where each one had been. Finally, she backed away from Maggie, letting the garment fall to the couch, revealing Maggie’s naked breasts.

Alex’s jaw actually dropped as she looked at the beautiful curves they formed on Maggie’s chest, perfectly suited to her particular body. They looked deliciously pliant, not too soft, not too hard. Maggie’s dark nipples stood at attention, tempting her.

Maggie quirked an eyebrow. “Ya know, you don’t just get to look, you can touch too.” With that, she gently pushed Alex back onto the couch and stayed astraddle her. Alex continued to stare up in a daze until Maggie grabbed one of her hands, and Alex woke up a little. Maggie leaned down, and Alex took the hint and took one of Maggie’s breasts in her hand. She squeezed, stroked, touched the nipple, played with it. She did the same with the other breast, paying special attention to what got the occasional little squeak or moan out of Maggie. Sparing use of nipple pinching: noted. She had her own breasts, of course, but she never imagined the novelty and sexiness of getting to touch someone else’s. They just felt so good. There was no explaining it.

Alex could’ve played with Maggie’s breasts all night, but after a point she became so lost in this new joy, interspersed with more kissing, that she lost track of how hot and bothered her girlfriend had become. Maggie repositioned herself so that she could lower a nipple into Alex's waiting mouth. Alex took to this new pleasure right away. It renewed the throbbing in her pants, and when she darted her tongue quickly back and forth over Maggie’s nipple, Maggie moaned out loud. Not the quiet mewls from before, but an outright, throaty moan. Alex felt yet another new gush coat her inner lips and, increasingly, her underwear.

Hands reached behind Alex’s shoulders, pulling her up so that she sat up, her face smushing into Maggie’s breasts. Not that this was a problem. Maggie pulled at her T-shirt and husked in her ear, “Is this ok?”

Alex realized what she was asking, “Yes. God yes. Please.” The T-shirt flew off, and Maggie kind of sat in her lap now, their legs intertwined awkwardly. Maggie kissed her heatedly, all open mouth and teeth and tongue. She felt one hand reach back and pop the clasp on her bra. And it was off too. “Holy shit that was smooth.”

“Shut up.” Alex was on her back again now, and Maggie was on top of her.

“Are we gonna…?” Alex tried to catch her breath.

“No. Not yet. Not this time.” Maggie paused and moved up to look into Alex’s eyes. “Do you trust me?”

“Of course.” Alex planted a kiss on her lips as punctuation.

Maggie attacked Alex’s neck with hot, open-mouthed kisses. She bit Alex’s ear and rasped into it, with what clearly felt like a wicked grin on her heated lips. “We are gonna get off like horny teenagers.”

Holy shit. Alex realized what Maggie had in mind. “Oh my god yes. I kind of am a horny teenager. Let’s do this.”

And Maggie went to work. She licked (!) down Alex’s neck to the divot between her collarbones, where Maggie proceeded to do things with her tongue that Alex hoped she’d do elsewhere soon. Alex’s hips bucked underneath Maggie’s straddle, involuntarily at first. But soon Alex discovered the delectable friction that happened there, and it became less and less accidental.

Things got all the more delectable when Alex realized that… their… crotches… were … basically rubbing together. As in Maggie’s pussy (!) was just inches and a few pieces of fabric from hers. God what delicious agony. Not close enough.

Alex squirmed to try to get one of Maggie’s legs between hers. “Good God, woman! What are you doing to me?”

 “And we’ve still got the better half of our clothes on.” Maggie waggled her eyebrows lasciviously and inserted a leg between Alex’s, but slid down a little out of reach so she could suck on Alex’s nipples, both sating a need and prolonging the torture at the same time.

Maggie’s tongue flicked an almost painfully erect bud. Alex grabbed a pillow to muffle herself. “Ooohhh ohhh what the… Oh god… what is this… I think I’m….” she actually felt herself dangerously nearing orgasm. “Good god, Maggie!”

Maggie seemed to intuit what was happening and moved back up Alex’s body, knee still between her legs, but moving more slowly now. Their foreheads touched, both sweaty. Maggie continued with a slow grind, talking Alex back from her near climax.

“It’s okay baby. Just breathe. Just breathe.” Alex followed her suggestion. “That’s my girl. There you go.”

Alex continued breathing. Slowly, consciously. Maggie continued to move on top of her, began kissing her mouth, her neck. Gently first, then more insistently.

“That’s right, baby. Just move along with me.”

“Oh god, Maggie. I lo… I lo…”

A hand clapped over Alex’s mouth. “You don’t get to say it right now. Not while we’re fooling around. Anyway, I know. You know I know. You say it when you’re ready. Right now just breathe. Just feel how good this feels.”

In any other instance, Alex would’ve made the perfect Han Solo joke out of that “I know,” but now was _definitely_ not the time. And dear god, Alex began to grasp Maggie’s rhythm and respond in kind, so that her knee hit Maggie in the right spot too. She knew it was the right spot because she heard the changes in Maggie’s breathing that matched her own. The pleasure of knowing that Maggie felt what she felt threatened to overwhelm her again.

“Oh, god Maggie. You’re really good at this.” She could smell Maggie’s arousal, or her own, or both. It didn’t matter anymore. She liked it.

Apparently Maggie did too. “I can tell you’re so wet. God I can’t wait to taste you.”

Normally, Alex surely would’ve blushed to hear Maggie say that, but right now, it was just what she needed to hear. Whatever inhibitions and any thoughts of neighbors vanished into thin air. “Maggie, oh you’re so… oh god. I want to feel you…”

Her movements became erratic against Maggie’s leg. “Oh god, how are you… doing… this…”

Maggie kissed her. Hard. “You’re doing the same thing to… oh god… Oh.”

Maggie pumped into Alex’s leg ferociously as her eyes rolled back into her head. She groaned deeply as her whole body shuddered, paused, shuddered again. For a long moment she simply looked down at Alex, smiled a heavenly smile, then dove back in for an urgent kiss. She picked up her previous pace and moved against Alex all over again.

“Maggie… oh god… did you just?”

“Yes, baby.” Maggie kept grinding relentlessly into Alex’s pussy, which had grown so slick they could both hear it through her jeans. “But you did it to me.”

“What?”

Alex had grabbed onto Maggie’s belt to make more friction. She could feel Maggie’s lips on her ear. “You. You made me come. So hard.”

With those words, Alex tipped over the edge. Her body seized with waves of pleasure that curled her toes. She had thought that was just an expression, but no, her toes literally curled. Maggie rode her through until Alex exhaled one definitive last time, and her whole body went limp. Her girlfriend crawled in behind Alex on the couch and held her, serving as the big spoon. They both jolted with occasional aftershocks as Maggie drew feathery touches on Alex’s arm with her fingers, planting occasional kisses on her shoulder or ear.

Alex stared off into a corner of the room in wonder for several long, deeply satisfying minutes. No one spoke.

Maggie finally brushed her shoulder gently and whispered, “Hey, everything alright?”

Alex sat up, and Maggie propped herself on her elbow. Alex gazed down at her, grabbed her free hand and held it. Not as an overt romantic gesture. She just wanted to have some part of Maggie touching some part of her because the contact brought her so much peace.

“That was kind of … naughty?” Alex didn’t blush this time. “But it was good-naughty. I didn’t feel naughty being naughty with you.”

“This is a good thing.” Maggie’s grin lit up her whole face, but then it all flashed mischievous again. “I notice you kinda like the dirty talk.”

“Um, I guess? Maybe?” Alex felt her ears heat up again. Damn. “Yeah, so anyway.” At least Alex didn’t look down anymore. “So I think I might feel a little more confident about… sex things… now.”

Maggie grinned. “Well… funny you should mention that. While I was single after the breakup I rented a cabin for, uh, Valentine’s weekend. I was thinking I wouldn’t want to be around any nauseatingly cute couples and would need a long weekend to collect myself, and that was the soonest I could get away by myself, and well…”

Alex jumped in, “… now we _are_ a nauseatingly cute couple. Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?”

“Do you think I’m suggesting you join me at the cabin for Valentine’s Day weekend? Because yes, that’s what I’m suggesting?”

“Then yes, I’m saying yes.” Alex flopped back onto the couch into Maggie’s arms, stopping short for a moment. “So wait a minute, if you’re springing for a cabin on Valentine’s weekend, does this mean you think you’re gonna get lucky?”

Maggie lifted her eyes upward as if to pretend-avoid Alex’s insistent gaze, followed by a full-hearted laugh and a kiss to Alex’s cheek. “Yeah? Maybe? I mean, we might as well do it right. Cabin? Valentine’s Day? Probably a fancy dinner in there somewhere?”

Alex laughed and returned the kiss. “I think the chances of that are pretty good.”

“Just pretty good?”

“Okay, fine. I’m a sure thing.” Alex looked over at the screen, where a pissed-off Linda was one-armed shotgunning an evil silver Terminator, trying to knock him into a vat of molten steel. “Hey, I think we might’ve missed part of the movie.”

Maggie glanced over to see where it was. “Oh yeah, we basically missed the whole thing.” She hit pause. “We’ll catch it in the morning.”

“Wait, so you’re staying over?” Alex clapped her hands together like a giddy teenager. “First sleepover!”

“Well, I have a toothbrush and some PJs in the lockup on my bike. I brought them just in case.”

“Go get them!” Alex hopped up and pulled Maggie up with her.

Maggie looked down at them both. “Maybe I should put on a shirt first?”

“Oh. Right.” Alex rolled her eyes playfully. “If you have to.”

“Guess who’s not shy anymore.” Maggie winked her and looked around behind the couch. “Now where’d my shirt go, you wicked minx?”


	4. We'll Figure Something Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess what? As a thank you for your patience during the longer-than-usual wait, this is a bonus chapter. 
> 
> So here kids, this is more or less just smut. With fluff. But mainly smut. We are pushing the boundaries of not-sex at this point, and we briefly ponder the age-old question, "How do you define ladysex?" Spoiler: however you want to. 
> 
> Enjoy the smut. It's a harsh world out there. This is not sin. It's joy. And smut. Enjoy.

Alex blinked her eyes as sun streamed through her bedroom window. She rubbed her face groggily and stretched her arms, only to feel her elbow brush lightly against a solid form next to her on the bed. Suddenly wide awake, she found herself awash in memories of the night before, rutting against Maggie on the couch until they both orgasmed. She felt her face heat up in a blush as she remembered the filthy things her girlfriend had rasped into her ear. She felt her inner muscles clench and the now-familiar buzz of arousal between her legs, but she looked at Maggie so peaceful and asleep, a relaxed smile gracing her elegant face. Alex willed herself not to move too abruptly. She didn’t dare disturb the girl she loved.

Instead, Alex moved as stealthily as possible across the bed and snuggled in behind Maggie, big spoon-little spoon style. Like almost everything she did with the dark-haired beauty, this was new for Alex too. She had dreamed of the chance to lie next to Maggie, to hold her and feel her warmth. An altogether new sense of fierce protectiveness welled up inside Alex, and she felt her heart expand. Okay, maybe it was a little like what she felt sometimes for her sister Kara, but a whole different dimension of that emotion, mixed with the unique devotion and raw desire she felt for Maggie. It filled Alex with awe and power at the same time. She wanted to hold Maggie like this… forever, wanted to do whatever she could to make this woman happy, to shield her from life’s turmoil. Alex felt her chest well up with pride and her eyes with – oh not again – tears. Of joy, and just… intense feeling. But she measured her breathing. Anything not to wake up Maggie from the rest this overworked cop needed more than a bunch of cheesy feelings right now.

Alex had no idea how long they remained like that, but she savored it. Every pleasure with Maggie, big or small, opened up a new doorway for Alex, and she was profoundly grateful to this girl in her arms for it all. She was really starting to feel she would do anything for Maggie, up to and including risk her own life. And that was not out of the realms of possibility in both of their lines of work. There really could be a situation in which she could be responsible for Maggie’s very life, not just her heart. Hell, she already had been in that situation before they were together-together. The immensity of both scared her sometimes. The possibility of their happiness scared her too. What if that could be snatched away in an instant? She pushed that notion away. She had to. Right now they had this. She focused on this moment’s joy.

The smell of Maggie’s hair and the remainder of their mingled desire from the night before still lingering on Maggie’s warm skin combined to intoxicate Alex more and more, the longer she held her girlfriend close. She found she couldn’t stave off her body’s response to the intimate contact. The pulsing sensation between her legs hadn’t subsided, even as she had tried to remain as still as possible. Involuntarily, she pulled Maggie’s soft body in closer to hers, as if hoping they would meld into one another.

“I’m awake, you know.” Maggie’s words startled Alex.

“Oh no. I’m sorry. You looked so pretty sleeping. I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“It’s hard to sleep with you so close.”

“What?” Alex felt a pang of rejection, hoping that wasn’t what it sounded like.

“Oh no. Not like that. I mean it’s really hard to not get turned on with you so close to me.” To emphasize her words, Maggie ground her backside into Alex’s center.

“Oh god.” Alex pulled her girlfriend closer and wrapped her leg around Maggie so she could gain more friction. “Oh god that feels good.” Maggie responded by grinding harder into Alex.

“You like this, do you, Danvers?”

“What’s… not… to like?” Alex realized she was more or less humping Maggie’s ass now. She realized she did not care how ridiculous this probably was. Was this even a thing people did? She had no idea.

Maggie, still in the boxers and the t-shirt she had brought, halted her movements.

“Hey, why’d you stop?” Alex nearly whined.

Maggie didn’t answer. Instead, she rolled onto her stomach and lifted her ass a little into the air. Like, presenting… herself to Alex to…

“What?... Wait, what?” Alex wasn’t sure what to do now.

“It’s okay, Alex. Just keep doing what you were doing. It’s okay.”

“Are you sure? This seems a little… one sided. I don’t want you to feel… used.”

Maggie turned her head back towards Alex and smiled sweetly. “Baby, it’s okay. You’re okay. Anyway, it’s not one-sided. I’m sure you’ll figure something out.” She winked at a pajama-clad Alex. It felt like a challenge. Alex accepted. Maggie tucked a pillow under her middle. “Trust me. It’ll make the ride more comfortable for both of us.

Alex’s heart pounded, and not just in her heart, as she positioned herself astraddle Maggie’s toned ass. She began to grind on it. Maggie moved in sync with her, leaving Alex breathless within moments. If they had been naked, Alex would have surely felt her leg muscles slap against Maggie’s as they thrust into one another. Maggie cried out in what could only be horny frustration, and Alex realized what her girlfriend meant by “figure it out.”

Alex reached around the pillow bolster and found Maggie’s mound through the boxers. She touched tentatively at first, but when Maggie responded with a ragged “Yes!” she realized she had made the right choice. She placed her fingers on the soft fabric where she hoped Maggie’s clit would be and began to massage while she continued to grind herself on Maggie’s ass. It was difficult to coordinate the two without becoming distracted, but Alex wanted to pleasure them both equally.

Alex moved her fingers down to massage Maggie’s opening too. She was kind of steadying herself by holding Maggie by one shoulder with one hand while she rubbed her pussy with the other, to the effect that she was kind of holding Maggie down. She was pretty much riding her girlfriend. It felt forceful and hot. They were both sweaty now. She could smell their arousal again, and the whole scenario did things to Alex’s brain. She felt feral, not herself, or maybe more completely herself than she had ever been.

Alex bore down, pushing Maggie into the pillows as she rode her. “I can feel how wet you are. Even through your boxers. It’s so sexy.”

Maggie’s breath came in heavy gusts. “You… you make me… so fucking wet.”

Something inside Alex broke loose at Maggie’s words. She pressed into Maggie’s pussy as far as the fabric would let her, her palm massaging her girlfriend’s clit. Maggie moaned, and Alex licked the back of her neck. It tasted of salt and girl. She bit down. Maggie screamed, muffled by a pillow. Instinctively, Alex knew it was a good scream. And it spurred her on.

Maggie’s breath came in fits and starts. Alex couldn’t help herself anymore. She had to touch Maggie. Had to. She drew her hand upward towards the waistband of Maggie’s boxers. Maggie gave her assent in a throaty, “Yes!” that gave Alex the confidence to go further.

Still moving against Maggie’s backside, Alex’s fingers brushed her girlfriend’s downy curls for the first time. When she made contact with the silky inner lips, Alex felt like her heart would stop. She had to halt her motions for a moment and just experience the sensation of touching Maggie. It was delicate and warm, so much more intimate than the desperate good-morning humping session from seconds before.

Without removing her hand from Maggie’s boxers, she backed off and motioned for her beautiful girl to turn over, which Maggie did.

Before Alex could start again, Maggie grasped her wrist. “You don’t have to go any further if you don’t want to. We’re kinda really in a gray area here.”

“I know. It’s okay.” Alex spoke in a whisper. She bent down to kiss Maggie’s soft, smiling lips. Her finger now wet, she found what could only be Maggie’s clit and began to massage, first the hood, then circling around the now prominent bud, then alternating between the two to see what reaction she got. She did things she would want done to her, things that felt good when she did them to herself. She continued kissing Maggie and felt this beautiful woman relax in her arms, marveling at Maggie's occasionally sighs or soft moans.

“A little faster and I’ll come for you.”

Alex let her finger explore a little more and gather some wetness again, and she complied with the sweet request. Maggie’s breathing sped up, and her hips jerked upward to meet Alex’s strokes. Her moans got louder and more frequent.

Alex whispered encouragement into her ear. “You’re so beautiful, Maggie. There’s nowhere I’d rather be than here touching you right now.” She dipped her head down to kiss Maggie deeply, drinking her in slowly. She looked into Maggie’s eyes. “Please let me see how gorgeous you look when you come.”

As if on cue, Maggie’s body began to jerk, then shudder. She grew tense for a moment, cried out, shuddered another couple of times, and then her entire body relaxed. Alex slowed her movements and very, very slowly, and a bit reluctantly, withdrew her hand from Maggie’s boxers. Maggie rolled over, and snuggled further into Alex’s arms. Alex reached around Maggie’s small frame, pulling her into a tighter embrace as Maggie shivered through a couple of aftershocks. Alex stroked her hair and planted a few light kisses on her forehead. Maggie stayed quiet for a while, and Alex didn’t want to disturb her.

After some minutes, not knowing what else to say but wanting to break the silence, Alex said the only thing she could think of. She whispered into Maggie’s ear. “Thank you.”

Maggie snickered and pulled back, lifting an eyebrow at Alex, looking amused. “Um, I’m pretty sure I’m the one who should be thanking you. That was…” Maggie sighed. “…lovely.”

“That’s good, right?”

“Yeah. I just mean, god. You’re incredibly sweet.” She smiled her full face, light-up-the-room smile. “I dunno. You sorta threw me for a loop there. One minute you’re riding me like a cowgirl, the next minute you’re holding me like some kind of delicate flower and whispering sweet nothings in my ear. Jesus.”

“Oh yeah. I did kinda do that.” All at once, Alex felt incredibly proud of herself. “So was that sex?” Alex sat up in the bed.

“Well, like I said, it’s kind of a gray area. We get to decide. What do you think?” Maggie sat up too, facing Alex.

Alex puzzled for a moment. “Um, it was… a sexual activity? What do you think it was?”

“I know what it was to me. I’m asking you.” Maggie had taken one of Alex’s hand and rubbed the back of it with her thumb.

Alex considered again. “I don’t think it was fully sex.”

“Okay. So tell me why.” Maggie looked amused.

“Well, we weren’t naked. We didn’t both get off…”

Maggie interrupted, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. “I can fix that part.”

“Maybe after breakfast. And weren’t we gonna watch that movie?” Alex shocked herself by turning down that offer. Wtf? “But anyway, so I think it was sex-ish, but not actual sex. So we still haven’t had sex yet. Seriously though, what do you think?”

“Pretty much the same as you. We weren’t naked. The range of activity was limited. So good news, you’re still a girl-virgin.” Maggie winked.

“Is that good news? I don’t know anymore. But I have other news too.”

Maggie lifted her eyebrows. “Oh?”

“I’m kinda-sorta, technically speaking, not just a girl-virgin. I mean, I have engaged in activities of a sex-ish nature, just not the main one. And not any of them on a lot of occasions. And I wouldn’t say I was an enthusiast.” Alex felt surprisingly comfortable divulging the full scope of her inexperience to Maggie. She had hinted at it before but not really the whole non-enchilada.

Maggie paused for a moment, but she didn’t appear ruffled by the news. She smiled in fact. “I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess you will not lack any enthusiasm in our future endeavors. In fact, your enthusiasm seems to rival my own.”

Alex tackled Maggie, pinning her girlfriend’s arms to the bed. “I think the real question here is, how am I gonna hold out til our big Valentine’s weekend trip? I kind of can’t even be in the same room with you without getting turned on.”

“Well I’ve got some, uh, news on that front.”

“Uh oh.”

Maggie signed. “I have no days off until our trip, so we’re not really gonna have a lot of time to indulge like this until then.”

“Yeah, I think I have maybe one day off til then.”

Maggie smiled a devilish smile. “I’m sure we’ll figure something out.”

“How about some coffee?” Alex kissed Maggie’s lips one more time before pushing up off the bed.

“Hey do you have stuff to make pancakes?”

Alex stopped mid-stride. “Pancakes? Oh my god. Could you stop being my dream girl for a second? Oh wait. Forget I said that.”


	5. Wrecked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess what? This is a bonus-bonus chapter. Because why not? It's called "wrecked," but don't worry, that's wrecked in the good way. Also featuring a rare appearance by Kara. This is still not the v-day weekend chapter, it's... well, we'll call it the phone sex chapter, aka the "Alex is now a completely useless pile of libido-filled gay someone help her" chapter. So here, my darlings, enjoy the adorable, sweet mostly-porn.

“So, Detective Sawyer, I thought you could take a look at these files and see if they match any details on the Pinewoods Mall incident.”

It was a flimsy excuse. Literally any DEO employee, or actually just a courier to be more precise, could’ve dropped the files by for Maggie to take a look. But Alex was on her way home, and she hadn’t seen Maggie in a couple of days due to their conflicting work schedules. After they had spent the night together at her place watching movies, being domestic, making out, sharing Alex’s bed, and exploring the boundaries of not-sex, Alex had become a woman obsessed. She didn’t think it was possible that she could want Maggie more than before but after they had – oh dear god her vagina got its own heartbeat every time she thought about it – gotten each other off a time or two, any desire she had for Maggie before now paled in comparison. Not getting to see her, not getting to touch her, was pure sweet agony.

Sure they exchanged cute texts, spoke on the phone, had planned to grab a meal together sometime during the week. But between the unrest in National City since the election of President A-Hole, and increased levels of alien activity in response to A-Hole’s would-be clampdown on “the Invaders,” they were both swamped with extra work. Alex hoped the Pinewoods case would give them a shot at some much-needed… collaboration…

Actually, Alex had no idea how to play it cool while dropping the files off in person. Would they even get a chance to touch at all? Even a second alone together? She was setting herself up for frustration. She was sure of it.

Maggie looked up from the file, eyes sparkling with mischief. “I’ll take a closer look at these in a little bit, Agent Danvers. I’m due a short break. Would you like to join me for a cup of coffee in the break room?”

Alex’s heart sped up a few beats. “Okay, coffee sounds great.” Alone time? Maybe at least a hug or a kiss? She’d take what she could get.

“Great, follow me.”

Alex followed Maggie down a hallway. “Isn’t the break room the other–“ Maggie disappeared through another door, and Alex felt a hand abruptly grab her wrist and drag her through it. She suddenly found herself in a small locker room. Another officer was looking in a mirror, fixing his hair.

Maggie looked impatient. “Hey, Hollis. Can you do your primping somewhere else? We need to talk about some confidential DEO matters, and the meeting room’s in use.”

The officer smoothed his hair one more time. “Sure, Detective.”

The second he was out the door, Maggie locked it behind him. She had barely turned around when Alex launched herself, pinning the detective to the door by the shoulders and meeting her with an open-mouthed kiss. Maggie threaded her fingers into Alex’s hair, and they became a heated mess of lips and tongues and sighs and a couple of unchecked moans and roaming hands.

“Shhhh! I don’t think this room is exactly soundproof. I’ll never live this down if they hear me in here fooling around with you.”

Alex was still catching her breath from the mini make-out. “So we’re fooling around, are we? How much time do we have?”

Maggie looked at her watch. “I’d say a max of 10 minutes until things start looking shady, or until somebody knocks, whichever comes first. And don’t get too excited, all our clothes are gonna have to stay on, and pretty much intact.”

“Too bad.” Alex made a fake pouty face. “But it’s better than nothing. You spoiled me over the weekend. I’m not worth anything. Now where were we?”

“Right about here I think.” Maggie grabbed Alex’s hand and led her over to a well-past-its-prime couch. She sat Alex down on it then hopped into the agent’s lap. “And if you think you’re ruined now, please, girl. Just wait until this weekend. I’m gonna –“ Maggie stopped herself and bit her lip.

“You’re gonna what? Tell me.”

Maggie smiled, and sighed. “I don’t want to scare you, baby. But I’ll probably be home from work by 10:00 or 10:30 tonight. Text me later and maybe I’ll find a way to tell you then.” She winked.

Alex wrapped her arms around Maggie and felt the heat of her desire spread and pulse throughout her whole body. Maggie’s lips caught hers in a soft, delectable kiss, which evolved quickly into a slow, deep, longing tongue kiss. They continued like this for time as the intensity grew gradually. Alex drew Maggie’s tongue into her mouth and sucked it fervently, trying her damnedest not to moan. She sneaked a hand to Maggie’s tailored dress shirt and unbuttoned the top two buttons, finally reaching in to caress a bra-clad breast. Maggie exhaled, audibly suppressing a moan, and collapsed into Alex’s neck.

“Danvers, you’re killing me.” Maggie pushed herself up to straddle Alex’s lap.

“What? I didn’t do anything.” Alex grinned at her and began a series of hot, wet kisses on Maggie’s neck until she reached her girlfriend’s ear, where she nibbled softly and whispered breathily. “But I want to do absolutely everything.” She slid both hands inside the open front of Maggie’s shirt, pressed her breasts together to form more prominent cleavage, then buried her face in it. Alex nuzzled her face against the soft lace and her love’s beautiful breasts. She lost all sense of time and space, lost in the flow of kissing, licking, and worshiping the gorgeousness of Maggie’s bosom.

“Alex, baby.” She felt her girlfriend gently stroking the back of her head. “Baby, I’m gonna have to get back to my desk pretty soon, or the guys are gonna give me the third degree after you leave.”

“What? Oh. Oh my god. Sorry. Of course.” Alex tilted her chin up for another brief but firey kiss. She had to taste Maggie one more time, to caress her girlfriend’s luscious lips with her own. When their lips slowly parted, Maggie seemed as reluctant to separate as Alex did.

Maggie buttoned her shirt back up. They both fixed their clothes and made sure their hair didn’t look like they had just made out on a shabby couch.

Walking towards the door, Alex realized how wet she’d gotten. “Um, huh. That got me a little, uh, excited.”

“Yeah. Me too.” Maggie shivered visibly. She leaned over and kissed Alex once more on the lips before reaching for the door. “Seriously though, text me later.”

“I certainly will. I’m … intrigued.”

***     *     ***

Kara came over bearing takeout Chinese for their standing Tuesday dinner and TV (always assuming no major alien or other crises kept them from it). Alex had promised herself that'd she'd keep up their weekly tradition no matter how serious things got with Maggie.

“I’m glad we’re still doing this Tuesday night thing. It’s my 13th Earth birthday. Did you know that?”

Alex brought in two fancily decorated cupcakes on a plate. “How could I forget?”

“I dunno. I mean you spend a lot of time with Maggie. I don’t want to keep you from her, but I don’t want us to drift apart either.”

“Kara, I promise you, we will never drift apart. I would never let that happen, no matter how much I love Maggie.” Alex wrapped Kara in a hug that would crush anyone who didn't happen to be near-indestructible.

The two set about getting plates and utensils so they could eat their takeout “like civilized women,” as Kara had termed it. Meanwhile, the very same Kara was using her hands to sneak the occasional potsticker when she thought Alex wasn’t looking.

“So how are things going with Maggie?”

Alex paused to set two wine glasses on the table. “Still great. I mean, I told you she spent the night on Friday.”

“Yes, you did…” Kara raised her eyebrows a bit.

“And I didn’t go into any big details on that but I assume you assumed what that might’ve meant.”

“You were pretty giddy, so yeah, I assumed that you two…”

Alex’s face heated up. She and Kara had talked about sex before of course, but almost never in relation to Alex, and then only in the most general of terms. “Well, we didn’t go all the way. But we did some stuff. Some stuff that resulted in… how do I put this?”

“Since when did we not talk about everything?” Kara looked sympathetic, encouraging, and as open as she always did.

“Okay fine. There were… orgasms… involved.” Alex felt the increased blood flow to her head subside a bit.

“Oh my, okay. I’m gonna respect your privacy on the specifics there, and hey you said orgasms plural. Wow that’s great. Way to go! High five!” Kara actually gave Alex a high five. “But it sounds like you have a question or something’s not quite right?”

“Yeah, so before this past weekend I was, well, kinda obsessed with Maggie. I mean – I love her – okay there I said it. And I’m gonna officially say it to her when the moment is right. You probably knew that already.”

“I did. Pretty much.”

“I mean what’s not to love? She’s so smart, and patient, and such a badass, and nobody wears a leather jacket like her, and she's really good at making pancakes, and so beautiful. God.” Alex paused for a second, caught up and starry eyed. “But after this past weekend, with the, um… orgasms and all, now I am crazy madly insanely obsessed. I can only think about Maggie, and really only about doing… sex things… with Maggie.”

“So what’s the issue?”

“What do you mean what’s the issue? All I can think about is how much I love Maggie, but mainly how much I want to have sex with her. Like all the time. I literally can’t concentrate. I want to be around her every second. And every second I can’t because our work schedules are so conflicting right now… it feels like actual torture.” Alex felt tears pressing behind her eyes.

Kara smiled. “Remember senior year of high school when I was really obsessed with Tommy O’Brien? How he was all I ever talked about and remember how dopey I was and how I... wanted to talk about sex all the time and you were like,” Kara inserted her fingers in her ears. "La la la la I can't hear you."

“Yes? God you were insufferable.” Suddenly Alex started to get a clue where Kara was going with this.

“You are in love. And this is what it feels like, especially the first time. Congratulations. You’re a normal person.”

Oh, so maybe Alex didn’t see exactly where she was going with that. She breathed out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. “What do you mean normal?”

“Alex I know I was caught a tiny bit off guard when you came out to me, but really, you’re so completely normal. The feelings you’re describing to me are the same feelings pretty much everybody has when they fall in love with someone. Yes, you want to have sex with her. You’re not a perv. You’re a grownup with a libido. I know you two have that weekend away coming up. Get it, girl!”

“I was… kinda planning to.” Alex smiled. “Thanks for listening to me. And for telling me I’m normal. I’ve never felt normal in my life, but I’m kinda starting to now. It's just... new. And still kinda weird. And yeah, you’re right about being in love.”

Kara held up her wine glass. “And I’m so glad it’s with Maggie. She’s really solid, and as far as I can tell, she’s really good for you. And if she ever isn’t, I’ll kick her ass into next week. I’m pretty sure I have the power to actually do that. To Maggie.”

Alex clinked her glass with Kara’s, grateful for both of the wonderful women in her life.

***     *     ***

Alex (10:19p.m.):              so you told me to text you. u back home?

Maggie (10:22p.m.):        yeah just got in brb

A:           ok

M:          back

A:           yay

M:          how was tue night dinner?

A:           chinese, Gilmore, nice chat about u (all good)

M:          wish I could come over, have to go in at 6.

A:           I haveto go in 5:30 ugh

M:          no rest for the wicked

A:           so whyd you tell me to text?

M:          oh yeah lol – from today (that was so hot jfc)

A:           uh yeah same, had to um… take care of things asap at home

M:          lucky you, not feasible at work

A:           so u said & I quote “I’m gonna” something but said it would scare me

M:          lol not really I suppose

A:           so what r you gonna

M:          oh cause you said I ruined you. but you have no idea

A:           uh huh – and?

M:          & that was just the beginning

A:           beginning of what?!?

M:          beginning of I’m gonna wreck you girl

A:           oh my now I’ll rly be worth nothing thinking about that

M:          lol

A:           what do you mean by wreck? I need details

M:          you wanna call? would be easier on the phone

A:           did u just proposition me 4 phone sex?

M:          maybe?

A:           maybe i accept hold on

Alex closed her texting app and freaked out. Wreck? Holy shit holy shit holy shit. Phone sex? Holy shit holy shit holy shit. How do people have phone sex? But how could she possibly say no? But… Alex scrolled to Maggie in her recents and thumbed her name before she had time to chicken out.

“Hey, Alex.” Maggie’s voice sounded sexy, a little sultrier than usual. “What’s up?”

“Uh, hey Maggie. I, um, don’t really know how to do this?”

“That’s okay. Just leave it to me. What are you wearing?”

"People really ask that. Uh, ok. Sure." Alex looked down at her clothes. “Some striped pajama pants and a tank top, with a hoodie over it.”

“You’re not wearing a bra, are you?” Maggie all but purred.

“No.”

“How about panties?”

“Yes.”

“Mmmmm… I’d like you to take off your hoodie, and your pajama pants. Put me on speaker while you’re doing that.”

Alex complied and listened as Maggie continued. “Do you want to know what I’m wearing, Alex?”

“Yes, tell me.”

“I’m naked. I’m on my bed. Are you on your bed, Alex?”

“Yes, but I’m not naked. Should I be naked too?”

Maggie sucked in an audible breath and moaned faintly. “Would you like to be?”

Alex stripped off the two remaining garments. “Yes, I want to be naked with you.” Where did that come from? Jesus, Maggie was really good at this.

“Take your tank top and panties off for me, Alex. Can you do that?”

“I already did.”

“Mmmmm. Such a good girl. Can you imagine me there with you?”

“Yes, I’d love it if you were here.” Alex closed her eyes and really could almost feel Maggie next to her. It made her shiver. “What would you do if you were here?”

“What would you want me to do, baby?”

“I’d want you to touch me. All over.” Alex ran her hands down her arms, where the hairs were standing on end.

“Baby, will you touch yourself when I say where I’m touching you?”

“Yes, Maggie. Where do you want to touch me.”

“I’d start with your face. I’d trace the lines of your pretty face and run my fingers along your lips.” Alex’s fingers followed Maggie’s words. “I’d brush them over your neck and shoulders, over your chest, down your stomach, onto your thighs. I’d massage your thighs again and again.” Alex moaned. “Yes, that’s right.”

“Finally, I’d bring my fingers back up to your breasts, and I’d massage them too. I’d knead them so gently with the palms of my hands. Do you know how much I love your tits, Alex?”

“How much?... Oh god.” Alex kept touching her breasts. Her pussy had begun to throb almost unbearably. Wetness had started to drip onto her inner lips.

“Pinch your nipples, baby. Squeeze them. Think about how bad I want to suck your nipples and ripple my tongue over them again and again. Because I think your tits are so hot. I want to spend a lot of time on them. I want to lie on my back and have you shove them into my mouth. I want to hold you in my arms and bury my face in them over and over.” Maggie got quiet for a moment.

“Go on. I’m listening. Tell me what you want to do.” Alex moaned out a breath and continued to play with her nipples as Maggie had requested.

“If you would let me, I’d like to rub my wet pussy on your nipples. I’ve never done that with anyone before, but your breasts turn me on so much oh god.” Maggie collapsed into what sounded almost like a growl.

“Ohhh yess. That sounds amazing. I want to do that with you too. Oh god I think I’m going to explode here. Please, what else would you do with me?”

“Oh god Alex, is your pussy as wet as mine right now?” Maggie’s breath sounded harsher now.

“Yes, oh. So much. It has been… for you… all day. Please, what do you want me to do?” Alex had started to feel desperate. She wanted to touch herself so badly but didn’t know if that was allowed yet.

“Baby, get your finger wet and start touching yourself, just lightly at first. Think about me lying here naked touching myself too. I want to taste you so bad.” Maggie was panting now.

“Maggie. Oh fuck. I want you to taste me. I want to be so close to you. I want to feel… what it feels like….” Alex’s fingers sped up of their own accord.

“Baby, I want to be inside you when you…” Maggie’s shifting movements on the bed were audible. “Ohhh holy shit. I am gonna come so hard thinking about being inside you my sweet… baby… girl… uhhh…”

Alex heard her girlfriend moan her way through what was clearly a strong orgasm, wishing more than anything she could be there for it, but instead she slid a finger inside herself while still touching her clit. She imagined Maggie fucking her as she ground down on her own finger. “Oh god Maggie. You are so hot. I want you more than you’ll ever ever know.”

Maggie came back to the phone after a short while. “I hear you, baby.  Think about me holding you, and kissing your sweet lips. Think about having me inside you, pushing in, pulling out, touching you in just the right spot. I won’t stop, baby. I want to feel every second of it. I want to be inside you and feel all of you when you come for me. Will you come for me, my sweet girl? Let me hear it, baby.”

Something pinged in Alex’s heart, and she felt her whole body explode all at once. A gush of extra wetness accompanied the first couple of waves of her orgasm, and each contraction of her pussy pulsed through her whole body, wave after wave. She heard someone gasping and moaning, deep animal moans that sounded like they came from some other time and place. She realized they had come from her, and she felt no shame at Maggie having heard it. Finally, her breathing slowed, and the jolts subsided. Sweaty, she flopped over onto her stomach grabbed at the phone. She thumbed the speaker switch and held it to her ear.

“Hello? Are you there?”

“Hey, baby. You okay there?” Alex heard the smile in Maggie’s words.

“Oh god what was that? And how do you have this power over me?”

“You did it yourself. All I did was talk.” Maggie chuckled.

“Well, I am well and fully wrecked now. I think I’ll probably sleep very well.” Alex sighed.

“Oh you think you’re wrecked. Just wait.”

“Okay, well, I was gonna sleep well. Maybe I won’t now with that kinda food for thought. You’re killing me, Sawyer.”

“You’re doing the same thing to me, Danvers.”

“How will we make it until this weekend?” Alex truly had no idea. She was already getting turned on. Again.

“Well, I guess you can occupy yourself by pondering what I might’ve bought at that women-owned sex toy store over on Monroe Ave.” Alex could hear the smirk in Maggie’s voice.

“Maggie, no!”

“Good night, baby. Sweet dreams.”

“Yeah? Sweet dreams, my ass. Wait, actually yes, I wish you nonstop sweet dreams of my sweet ass. Good night!”

Alex gathered her PJs and hoped the turned-on feeling would subside without another intervention. It probably wouldn’t.


	6. Like a Schmirgin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, kids. 
> 
> Summary: They finally do it. It's all hot /sweet /adorable /dirty /lovely. Mention of vegan ice cream.
> 
> Also: You probly noticed there are as yet undetermined gifts from a certain store, a couple of previously mentioned but not-yet-done things. I couldn't fit it all in one chapter. There's more weekend left. Imma need a short break tho. Whoo this was a lotta words at once. 
> 
> And as ever, I appreciate your comments.

The storm had come from seemingly out of nowhere.

Alex and Maggie had taken their time getting up to the mountains, first stopping at Trader Joe’s on the way out of town to pick up some tasty, easy-to-cook meals for their weekend at the cabin. They ambled along the increasingly hilly two-lane highways, indulging in a few quirky local attractions and antique stores along the way. Alex’s favorite had been The Dino-Hut, a barbeque joint shaped like a huge green dinosaur where they’d enjoyed a late lunch.

The Dino-Hut also featured Dino-Golf, an appropriately prehistoric-themed mini-golf course, where they played a game. The loser had to buy the winner a dessert of her choice from the specialty shop in the little town a short drive down the mountain from their rental. Alex would be purchasing some vegan chocolate ice cream, as it turned out.

They made out in the car before getting back on the road.

Maggie pulled back first. “I want to keep doing this, but I also want to get you to the cabin.” She flashed Alex a knowing smile and a wink. “It’s a three-day weekend because of the federal holiday on Monday. Well actually four-day since we both took today off. So we have nothing but time.”

Alex, the scientist, had to work through this logic in her foggy brain for a moment. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” She stole another quick kiss before Maggie started the car.

They chatted on the ride, held hands. Sometimes they listened to music in comfortable silence. Some moments, Alex even forgot that she was about to more or less lose her virginity to Maggie. Truthfully, she had never placed great value on the concept of virginity. What a misogynist construct, right? And Maggie had not made a big deal out of it at all, which Alex really appreciated. But still, having sex for the first time is a huge life event for anybody, especially if you just came out, and most especially if you just came out as an adult. She had no doubt that it would be special, and a lot of her fears about her inexperience had been allayed by their talking about it and being able to fool around some.

So Alex wasn’t that afraid, but she couldn’t help being nervous. She wanted Maggie so bad she was just about jumping out of her skin sometimes. But she did also truly enjoy the ride on their way to spend the weekend together. Navigating the winding roads gave them a chance to talk without interruption. They were alone together for an extended time, but Maggie couldn’t take her eyes off the highway, and Alex didn’t want to distract her from driving. It was a unique opportunity. She just let Maggie talk, about the places she’d lived or traveled, the transformative people in her life. Alex fell more deeply in love with her with each story she told.

Just then Maggie was talking about all the things she saw while bartending and backpacking her way through Europe for a year after college.

“… and then I turned the corner in this random museum in – where was it? – Düsseldorf? Frankfurt? I don’t even know why I’d gone in there. But then I got smacked in the face with this painting by Marc Chagall, all blues and greens and mixed-up images of people sad and suffering, performing Jewish rituals I didn’t know anything about. The painting was kinda abstract and weird-looking, but it really got under my skin. Just the looks on their faces. How could anybody want to harm anyone just because they’re different? I’d been treated poorly too… for being different.”

Tears started to form in the corners of Maggie’s eyes as she continued. “I mean, not like the Jewish people in Europe, but bad enough to relate. And I just realized in that moment how much I wanted to help people. How much I wanted to put away the kind of criminals who would hurt people just because of who they are. I had studied criminal justice thinking I’d go back and go to law school, but right then I knew I needed to help more directly. I decided to come back and go to police academy instead.” Tears were streaming down her face now. “Sorry. I’ve gotta pull over for a minute. I haven’t thought about that painting in a long time.”

Luckily they were at a portion of highway that offered a bit of gravel shoulder, so Maggie pulled over, parked, and collapsed onto the steering wheel, sobbing quietly. Alex stared at her in wonder, in awe. She had known of Maggie’s passion for her work, but she had no idea where it came from. Her heart felt full, near to bursting.

Alex reached over and pulled Maggie into a hug, kissed one of her eyebrows. She didn't even really have to decide. This was the right moment. “Maggie, you’re such a beautiful, beautiful person. I love you. So much. Everything that you are.”

Maggie sat upright for a moment, smiled through tear-matted eyelashes at Alex. “I love you too.” She leaned over again, touched foreheads with Alex, wisped her cheek with unsteady fingers, followed with a soft kiss to Alex’s lips.

***     *     ***

The sky had clouded up a bit by the time they reached the cabin and unloaded everything from the car.

Maggie carried in the last of the Trader Joe’s bags. “Why don’t you scoot on down the hill to town, and I’ll get things sorted out around here.” Maggie handed Alex the car keys. “Just some non-dairy dark chocolate if they don’t have the ice cream.”

“Anything for you, my lactose-intolerant golf pro.” Alex pulled Maggie in for a kiss before taking off. Thunder rolled somewhere in the distance as she got in the car.

Alex had made fun of the ice cream, but to be honest, the frozen mixture of creamy, churned coconut milk and chocolate was no joke. It was actually pretty delicious. Alex was relieved when she found Maggie’s favorite brand at Miss Frieda’s store. In fact, Miss Frieda also had dark chocolate covered strawberries available for Valentine’s Day, so Alex got six of those as well. And she picked up a half dozen roses, because why not?

Miss Frieda herself sat at the checkout and beamed at Alex when she came up to the register. “Somebody’s very lucky to have you as their Valentine.”

Alex blushed. “I’m even luckier to have her.” It slipped out before she could stop it. She felt her heart jump into her throat. Alex had never come out to a random person before. It felt liberating but scary. She fumbled with the bank card reader, bracing for a reaction that didn’t come. She looked up at Miss Frieda, still smiling as the receipt printed.

She handed Alex her bag and receipt. “You two have a nice weekend. Stay warm.”

Alex heard the thunder again as she pulled out of the parking lot, several fat drops of rain hitting the windshield. By the time she made it halfway up the mountain, she had to slow the car to a creep in low gear due to the lack of visibility. It poured in sheets and buckets. By the time she got all the way to the cabin’s driveway, it hadn’t slowed. There was no sense in waiting. With no umbrella in the car, she was going to get soaked. She grabbed the groceries, opened the door, and made a dash up the walk. The cold rain drenched her sweater instantly. She was soaked from head to toe by the time she made it up onto the front porch.

Maggie had already opened the door for her. “I’m glad you made it. I got a call saying it’s a flash flood down the hill in town. Streets are temporarily impassable. Nobody can get in or out until the storm lets up and the streets drain from the rain washing down the mountain.”

“Good thing I got out exactly when I did.” Alex stayed on the doormat, handing Maggie the sodden, barely intact paper bag and drippy roses.

Maggie kissed her very rained-on cheek.  “Stay where you are. I’m gonna put this ice cream in the freezer, and these in some … more… water. And then I’m getting you some towels.”

“Okay, this is not exactly the kind of wet I had signed up to be this weekend.”

“There’s plenty of time for the other kind.” Maggie spluttered out a laugh as she lightly shook the roses upside down over the sink to get the rain off of them. She cut the stems on a cutting board and found a highball glass in the cabinet that made a nice makeshift vase. She disappeared for a moment into a small hallway next to the bedroom, then reappeared with two towels. “Here you go.”

Alex peeled off her dripping sweater and set it on the hearth nearby. She stepped out of her boots. Even her socks were damp and uncooperative when she tried to take them off. Her flannel shirt, sports bra, and jeans were pretty wet too, and she shivered from the cold now as she bent over, trying to towel her hair. She stood up and wrapped the towel around her shoulders for warmth, only to find Maggie standing directly in front of her.

“Not to sound exactly like a porn video I stole from my brother and watched when I was 15, but we should probably get you out of these wet clothes.” Maggie’s giggles percolated into full-blown laughter for a moment. “Seriously though, you’re probably freezing.”

“Yeah, I am kinda cold. I think I’ll go change, but I wanna shower first to warm up a little.”

Maggie’s warm hand cupped Alex’s cold cheek and pulled her in for a lingering kiss to her lips. “Those roses and the strawberries are a nice touch. You’re pretty good at this girlfriend thing.”

“It’s the least I could do. This place is nice. I mean, look. We have this living room with a fireplace and a TV. We can watch cable and Netflix if we want. We have a dining table, all this cooking stuff.” Alex walked through the kitchen, still shivering and clutching the towel around her, and looked out into the pouring rain. “We probably have a lovely view of the mountains. And this nice back deck. And…” Alex turned around and stared at Maggie. “… a hot tub on the back deck.”

“With privacy screening. Oh yeah, and the bathtub is also a Jacuzzi tub, fyi.” Maggie beamed. “I might have gotten a bit of an upgrade when I found out you’d be joining me. It includes a fancy dinner delivered from the steakhouse down the hill. All we have to do is call. They’ll bring it up any time before 10:00. I assume the streets will drain and clear off well before then.”

“I would absolutely tackle you on the couch right now if I weren’t so cold and soaked to the bone.”

“How about you go take that shower. We’ll regroup when you’re done.” Maggie’s eyes sparkled, as though she might have something in mind. The thought of what that might be made Alex have to catch her breath.

***   *   ***

Alex didn’t put normal clothes back on. It was now or never. Okay, not never. But definitely now. She couldn’t wait any more. She had to be with Maggie. Kara had helped her pick out the sexy lingerie. Alex hadn’t ever considered herself the sexy lingerie type, or the sexy anything type, but she wanted to surprise Maggie. Kara helped her find something tasteful but hot. A silky robe in a rich-hued but soft blue, matching short nightie, bra, and panties. There wasn’t really much to the bra and panties, just more of the silky fabric with some nicely placed straps holding it together. No lace or frills or nonsense. Nothing non-Alex-like. She wanted to… give herself… to Maggie. Kinda like a present to unwrap. She had shivered putting it on, but not from the cold anymore.

“Hey I poured you a glass of wi-“ Maggie’s mouth dropped open when Alex came out of the bedroom.

“Um, hi there.”

“Yeah, hi. Uhh.” Maggie stood dumbly, still holding the glasses. “What’s that you’re wearing?”

“A robe.” Alex did her best faux-innocence face. “Ya know. Like a bathrobe.”

“Uh huh. That’s a really pretty bathrobe.” Maggie handed Alex her wine and put the other glass on the table. “Just give me a minute to, uh, freshen up.”

Alex downed half her wine and topped up the glass, hoping to calm her nerves. Seeing that Maggie had lit the fireplace and spread out a few throw pillows and some blankets in front of it, Alex drank half the topped-up glass too. But she determined to slow down after that, not wanting to miss a second of what was clearly about to happen. Despite the wine that had begun to warm her blood and the fire that had toasted the chill from the room, Alex still shivered, nervous about her own inexperience. She knew Maggie would be understanding and patient no matter what, but Alex’s mind swirled with what-ifs.

Maggie emerged from the bedroom in a pair of silky black pajamas, smiling at Alex. “Oh, what? You thought you’re the only one who brought something slinky to wear?” She grabbed Alex by the waist and pulled her into a soft kiss, then picked up the two glasses from the table and carried them to the hearth. She sat down on the blankets and patted next to her, gesturing for Alex to sit too. Alex put her head on Maggie’s shoulder as they stared into the fire for a moment, sipping the wine. Maggie wrapped an arm around Alex’s waist, kissed her cheek softly, brushed her hair out of the way, placed a light kiss on her jawline and her neck, and whispered in her ear. “How are you feeling? Is everything okay? I only want to do what you want to do. Okay, baby?”

Alex set her wine on the hearth, looked down for a moment, feeling small, her confidence fading. “I definitely want to do this, Maggie. So much. I’m just afraid I won’t… do things right.”

Maggie set her wine back on the hearth too. She turned to face Alex, taking both of her hands. Alex looked up to see her girlfriend as always, the picture of understanding and kindness. “Baby, you don’t have to do anything. This is your time right now. Just let me take care of you.” She took Alex by the shoulders and laid her down on the blankets, held her head while she placed a pillow under it. After making herself likewise comfortable, she took Alex in her arms and gave her a long, slow, soulful kiss. She grasped at Alex’s lips with her own, first the top lip, then the bottom, always separating slowly with a faint sucking sound that made Alex’s thighs quiver. Alex opened the kiss, wanting, needing some part of Maggie inside her already. The throbbing between her legs grew more intense when Maggie’s searching tongue slipped between her lips. She felt more than heard a moan coming from Maggie when it reverberated inside her mouth. The robe got twisted up in Alex’s legs when she tried to slide them in between Maggie’s, so Maggie obligingly propped up for a moment to untie it.

There are certain images in life, certain rare moments that are perfect, and even more rarely, you realize it while it’s happening, not later. Maggie’s face as she untied the robe, opened it, saw Alex’s body prepared for her in the short, silky nightie – a hint of skimpy bra and panties underneath – revealed all of the desire, wonder, and love that she so clearly felt for Alex. It was written so undeniably on her guileless, smiling, lust-addled face, a look that burned its way onto Alex’s consciousness instantly and burned away the nervousness she had felt moments before. This was Maggie, the woman who loved her. Nothing could go wrong.

Alex reached up and began to unbutton Maggie’s soft, silky top, discovering a ridiculously hot bra underneath. The lower half of the cup was black satin, the upper half just some see-through stretchy material and straps, the hint of a nipple visible above the meeting point between the halves. Alex felt sure her eyeballs would pop out of her head like some kind of horny cartoon wolf. “Holy shit, Sawyer, please tell me the panties match.”

“Well, Dr. Scientist, there is a way to investigate this hypothesis and gather empirical data.”

“Oh god.” Alex laughed a full-throated laugh. “I thought I was turned on before, and then you started talking scientific method! Be still my nerdy heart!” She grabbed Maggie with both arms and pulled her back down, biting into her shoulder. Maggie yelp-moaned.

“P.S. I kinda like being bitten when and if things ever get… rough. Just so you know.”

“Duly noted, detective.” Alex wasn’t sure what Maggie meant by “rough,” but she wanted to find out sometime.

Maggie slotted her thigh in between Alex’s and began to roll her hips, creating some subtle friction as she kissed Alex’s lips, jawline, and finally her neck. She nibbled and sucked at the juncture of Alex’s neck and shoulder, not enough to hurt, but enough to notice. Alex’s breathing came faster now. She wrapped a leg around Maggie to pull her closer to create more friction for both of them. She thrilled at the feel of her girlfriend’s bare skin under her hands as she ran them up and down Maggie’s back and sides. Impossibly smooth and soft. She squeezed and rubbed Maggie’s perfectly rounded ass as it flexed and released again and again while riding her thigh.

Now frustrated at the number of layers between them, Alex hooked her thumbs under the waistband of Maggie’s black, silky pants. Realizing immediately what Alex wanted, Maggie lifted her hips and helped slide the bottoms down, kicking them the rest of the way off. She sat up, still straddling Alex, who ogled her openly and without shame. The panties consisted mainly of the same see-through stretchy mesh, a few straps, and a barely-there stripe of black satin covering Maggie’s nether region. And that was it. Alex felt her heart speed up to dangerous levels, and she had begun to drip into her panties. And – this was new – she actually found herself salivating.

Maggie didn’t bother asking. She just looked at Alex, seemingly seeking some sort of go-ahead. Alex gave her the subtlest nod, and Maggie began untying the blue nightie, her breath coming in visible heaves, eyes dark with desire. Alex grew wetter still just watching the desire in her girlfriend’s eyes. It still shocked her to feel so wanted, but it also warmed her in places she had so long believed would be cold and closed off in her forever. Tears began to form in the corners of Alex's eyes. She didn’t try to stop them. Alex shed the nightie as Maggie pulled her up to her knees so they could face each other, both nearly bare to one another.

“What is it, baby? Are you okay?” Maggie kissed the corner of Alex’s eye to chase away one of the tears that threatened to fall.

“Yes. I promise I’m okay.” Her eyes didn’t waver from Maggie’s. “I just… love you so much. And I’ve wanted you so much. And I just can’t believe I get to feel this good.” She couldn’t stem the tide of a few more tears as they fell. Not sad tears. Just tears for the intensity of her feelings for Maggie, for the weight she felt lifting from her heart.

“Baby, you deserve everything. You deserve to be happy. And to feel good.” Maggie took Alex’s face in her two hands and kissed her lips emphatically. “We get to do this.” She hugged Alex close, then pulled the two of them back down to the floor, lay beside Alex and held her in her arms. Maggie looked into her eyes and stroked her cheek. “I love you so much.” Alex closed her eyes and let their lips touch, let Maggie’s tongue enter her mouth, felt herself float into bliss as Maggie’s hand stroked her cheek, her lips, her arms, her sides, her thighs.

Maggie strategically avoided her breasts and her center at first, but that only turned Alex on more. She had become indescribably slick between her legs. She could feel it every time she moved. Maggie moved on top of her, cupped one of Alex’s breasts, squeezed, making Alex moan. “Ooooh god. Ohhh.”

Maggie’s hand slid further down, slowly, painfully slowly, down to Alex’s pussy. She ran her fingers up and down, outside Alex’s panties, which now must certainly be sporting a prominent wet spot.

“God, Alex. You’re so wet. I can feel it through your underwear. How’d you get so wet?” She felt Maggie’s smile as the whispers tickled her ear.

Alex’s body coiled with tension so that she could barely speak in a whisper. “You. You made me this wet. You make me this wet all the time.” She sucked in a sharp breath. “Maggie, I want you so bad.”

“Tell me what you want, baby.”

Alex shut her eyes, every muscle taut. “Please, Maggie. Take me to bed. Take me to bed now.” She felt Maggie spring off of her, felt a hand grab hers. The next thing she knew, Maggie was leading her to the bedroom.

A couple of glasses of water and a bottle of lube stood on the nightstand. Maggie had lit a few candles probably while she was getting ready earlier. God, so smooth.

They stood facing each other. Maggie closed the distance and put her arms around Alex, who felt her body relax a bit at the tender gesture. Maggie kissed Alex’s neck, face, and lips. “It’ll be perfect, baby. You’re perfect. I love you.” Maggie reached back and unhooked Alex’s bra, then backed off a bit, pulled down the straps and let it fall. “You’re so beautiful, Alex.” Maggie leaned down and kissed Alex’s exposed chest, working her way down to a nipple, where she licked and sucked while cupping the other breast. “Mmmmm hmmmm.” Alex felt the vibrations of Maggie’s delight reverberate in her clit.

Alex sat them down on the bed and crawled up to straddle Maggie’s lap. She offered her girlfriend her other breast, which Maggie grabbed and began licking and sucking fervently, while Alex reached back and undid Maggie’s bra. She pushed Maggie backwards onto the bed and discarded the bra so she could take one of Maggie’s nipples into her mouth. It was intoxicating. But everything about Maggie was intoxicating. She swirled her tongue around first one, then the other nipple. When she rippled her tongue over a nipple rapidly, Maggie’s hips jerked. Alex slid her body upwards and let one of her breasts hang just out of reach of Maggie’s open mouth.

“Please.” Alex looked down to see something desperate in Maggie’s eyes, something that broke Alex’s heart a little. She lowered herself and let Maggie take what she wanted. As long as she wanted. Seeing Maggie so fulfilled soothed something inside Alex that she didn’t yet have a name for. Sucking gave way to licking, swirling, and tiny nips, which re-stoked the fire between Alex's legs.

She then decided to try something she’d seen online. It had looked a little complicated, but if it worked she was sure they’d both enjoy it. She took one of Maggie’s legs and sort of held it out of the way then spread hers in such a way that she could lower her own pussy onto Maggie’s so that their barely clad pussies… could … rub together oh god this was a lot hotter than anticipated.

Alex began grinding herself into Maggie’s pussy and noticed an evil gleam in her girlfriend’s eye. “Woah, baby. Where’d you learn this?” She gasped, appeared lost for words for a second. “Holy fuck.”

“I… like… to… be… informed.” Oh god. Alex’s lower half had taken on a mind of its own. The thought of her clit, so close to Maggie’s wet, pink petals. Buried in them. Sliding back and forth. And oh god the silk panties she could feel everything through them anyway. Holy shit oh god. Wait no.

“Maggie… I’m… Oh… whatthefuck…” And just like that, Alex came. She shuddered between Maggie’s legs, unable to catch a breath for a moment, unable to hold back the high pitched cries jumping from her throat as her pussy contracted amid their mingled wetness and now-superfluous underwear.

Alex flopped over onto the bed, laughing uncontrollably. Maggie untangled their legs and moved over next to her and stroked her hair and back.

“Oh hi there, I’ll just be over here hiding my face in shame after coming in two seconds. I am literally a teenage boy. What the fuck was that?”

Maggie reached over and grabbed one of the glasses of water, handing it to Alex. “You’re okay baby. Also completely understandable. That was kind of a baller move you just pulled. And our… bodies… happen to … fit together pretty well for that one. So, uh, yeah. That was fucking hot.”

“It was?” Alex set the water back on the nightstand.

“Yeah.” Maggie started laughing. “I am so goddamn wet right now you have no idea.” She began laughing harder. “And you know what?”

“What?” Alex did her best to retain her composure.

“We still have not officially-officially, 100% completely had sex-sex. Although I believe we have now gotten as close as you possibly can without crossing the line.” Maggie fell over on the bed laughing so hard her face turned red.

Alex laughed too. Of fucking course they hadn’t done it yet. Of fucking course she would come on accident during foreplay. Was this what she’d been afraid of? Because if so, it wasn’t too bad.

She crawled over to Maggie. “Hey, pssst. Hey. I’m gonna do you now.”

Her girlfriend stopped laughing. “Wait, what? I thought I was supposed to take care of you. This is your time, remember? I’m supposed to be gently deflowering you, right?”

Alex snickered. “Yes, well, you still can. But I already came. And I’d rather have you deflower me or whatever after I’m done wondering about what else I can screw up.”

For a moment, Maggie looked puzzled. “Well, since it is your time, you get to do whatever you want.” Maggie turned onto her side and did her best ‘boudoir’ pose. “So take me baby, I’m yours.”

Alex wasted no time. She turned Maggie over onto her back, grabbed the waistband of her girlfriend's panties, and began pulling them down. Maggie helped by lifting her hips so Alex could strip them off and toss them over her shoulder with a flourish that made Maggie giggle.

“You better take yours off too, Danvers.”

She had forgotten she was still wearing any herself. “Thanks, Sawyer.” Alex stood up to shuck her underwear as well. She stopped to look down at Maggie, who had her arms over her head and was writhing a little bit, probably for the specific purpose of giving Alex a show. It was working.

“Oh my god you’re so sexy.” Alex jumped back onto the bed. She drew a hard breath when she felt her skin touch her girlfriend’s with no barrier, another when she felt Maggie’s wetness on her thigh. “Ohhh you feel so good. Just let me feel you for a minute, okay?” She let herself melt into Maggie’s skin, breathing in the unique scent of her body. She could smell the faint aura of arousal even in the fine sheen of sweat on Maggie’s neck. It pulled her in like a magnet. Alex’s entire body shivered with want. In truth, the orgasm before had only just taken the edge off her desire. She could easily build back up to her former state of need in minutes. But this was about Maggie. Alex propped herself up on her elbows and kissed Maggie’s soft lips again and again before entering her mouth. Maggie opened to her and grabbed the back of Alex’s head, pulling her harder into the kiss and moaning into Alex's mouth.

She hungrily sucked Alex’s tongue, then broke to whisper in her ear. “Please, baby. I probably won’t last that long either.”

Alex sucked and bit at her lower lip. “Maggie. Just tell me what you want. I’ll do anything for you. Anything. I just need you to coach me through it, okay? Just tell me what you need.”

Maggie ran her hands down Alex’s back, scratching lightly and giving her chills. Alex responded by thrusting into her. “Alex, baby. Would it be okay if you… if you lick me? And when I ask you, to fuck me with two fingers?”

Oh god. To fuck Maggie. To be inside her. To taste her. “God yes. Absolutely.”

She made her way down Maggie’s front in kisses, sweet kisses, each one placed with care. She stopped at Maggie’s breasts where she lavished attention on each nipple, rapidly trilling her tongue over both several times. She wished give her love a preview of what she hoped to do elsewhere soon. She kissed and licked Maggie’s stomach. She left a mark near Maggie’s hipbone by biting and sucking in a concentrated way for a few minutes, much to Maggie’s encouragement. “Yes, baby. Oh god. Fuck. Mark me. Yes. Oh. Fucking bite me. Yes.” It had left her girlfriend incoherent, panting.

Suddenly, Alex stood up, pulled Maggie by the ankles to the edge of the bed. Maggie seemed to intuit what she had in mind. Alex let her girlfriend’s legs drape off the bed, then lowered her knees onto the carpet, carefully placing one of Maggie’s legs on her shoulder, the other propped on the antique bedrail. She spread Maggie’s downy soft lips and viewed the pink folds inside. They glistened with her wetness. Alex had no idea what she expected, but it was beautiful. She ran her fingers through the trimmed, soft hair. She spoke barely above a whisper as she let her fingers slip between Maggie’s outer lips. “God, Maggie. You’re so gorgeous.”

Maggie moaned. “Please, Alex. I need you.” Alex parted Maggie’s lips again and sat in awe as a drop of her desire formed at the base of her opening. “Please, baby.” The desperation in her girlfriend’s voice jolted Alex into action.

She leaned forward, breathing in the already-familiar smell of Maggie’s desire. It reminded her of a fresh, mossy pine forest after a rain, with a hint of something spicy in it. She moved in and reached out her tongue. It tasted as it smelled: soft, fresh, salty, tangy, but with other elements she couldn’t name. She felt connected to something natural and primordial, something beyond her or Maggie. It felt wild, like freedom.

Alex stroked her tongue through the soft flesh several times, and Maggie all but whimpered in response. “Yes. Please. Gentle. Soft tongue. On my clit.”

She immediately responded to the instructions and felt Maggie’s body relax. “Oh god. Yes. So good. That’s right.”

Occasionally, Alex still stroked downward to taste her girlfriend’s essence as it dripped from her entrance, which Maggie seemed to like. But she continually came back to what Maggie had originally requested.

“Oh god yes. Now, faster, a little harder.”

Alex sped up. Maggie’s hips began to roll rhythmically.

“Oh yes. You’re such a fast learner… uhh…. yeah… ok… can you… give me two… fingers?”

She took two fingers and played at Maggie’s entrance to get them wet. Alex slid them in slowly, tentatively at first.

“Please, baby. You won’t hurt me.”

With that, Alex slid her fingers home, shocked at the inviting, silky heat she found there. She was inside Maggie, her beautiful girl, could feel every twitch, every squeeze, the fullness of her arousal, the delicious, silky wetness. It felt like heaven.

“Now fuck me.” Alex began to move. Sliding her fingers in and out of Maggie. Slowly, deliciously.

“Baby, please. Harder. Faster.” She pushed in harder, faster, moved her tongue to match.

The pitch of Maggie’s gasps rose. “Yes, oh god. Yes. Oh fuck… now… push up as you fuck me.”

It took Alex a second to figure out what Maggie meant, but she complied and the result was instant. Maggie pulsed around her fingers, grew wetter, fuller.

“Oh fuck. Yes, baby. Yes. I’m gonna come for you. Oh fuck.” Maggie’s leg slid off of Alex’s shoulder, and she braced both feet on the bed rails. Alex pushed hard into her, smacking her fingers wetly at Maggie’s entrance. Maggie’s back arched, and Alex’s heart nearly stopped as several hard pulses seemed to pull her fingers further into Maggie’s body. She continued fucking Maggie until she was sure the rapid pulsing had stopped. She felt her girlfriend’s hands touch her head.

“It’s okay baby, you can stop now.”

Alex popped her head up survey the devastation she had wrought. “What if I don’t want to?”

“Well, I’m a little sensitive at the moment, so be careful I guess.”

“Oh good.” Very, very slowly, Alex slid her fingers out of Maggie and very gently traced the contours of her girlfriend’s delicate folds with her tongue. She nuzzled in between them with her face, breathing in the distinct scent that was Maggie. Once again, she again inserted her tongue into Maggie’s opening so she could taste her desire. She kissed her girlfriend’s clit, wiped her wet face on her inner thighs, then rested her forehead on Maggie’s lap for a moment, still on her knees as though praying to whatever deity allowed her to experience intimate joy of bringing this kind of pleasure to the woman she loved.

Alex also noticed that she had begun to drip down her own thighs. She hopped back up onto the bed, breathless. She kissed Maggie’s face and held her close. “Thanks for letting me do that for you. It was… god I don’t even know. I really love doing that.”

“Love doing what?”

“The thing I just did.” Alex’s face burned. Would she ever stop blushing? The fuck.

“What thing? What thing did you really love just doing just now?”

She cleared her throat. “Fine. I really really love eating your pussy. Is that what you want to hear? I have never said pussy out loud before. But yes. It is amazing. I think I saw god or something. Or whatever patron saint is in charge of cunnilingus.”

“Oh yeah. Saint Connie.”

“What?”

“Saint Connie of Lingus. We go way back. But you know, you seem to know her pretty well yourself.” Maggie cracked herself up.

Alex grabbed a pillow and whacked her. “Shut up. You did not just say that!”

“So we’re sexy pillow fighting too? Where’s my tool belt? We might as well hit all the stereotypes at once.”

“You’re killing me, Sawyer.”

Maggie grabbed one of the glasses of water. “Seriously though, um. Holy shit that was really good. Honestly. Any lack of experience you more than made up for in your willingness to listen. Thanks for that. It really means a lot. People can be together a long time and not have that ability.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Maggie looked off, a brief cloud of sadness haunted her eyes for a few seconds. “But you? You are amazing. In every way. Including this one.” She beamed. “Hold on, I’ll be right back.”

She showed back up moments later with the chocolate covered strawberries and their two glasses of wine, newly refilled.

“I don’t know about you, but I could use a pick-me-up.”

“Yeah, true. I don’t wanna get worn out before you…”

“Before I take your virginity?”

“Yeah, that. Can we call it something else?”

“Oh right. Before I take your schmirginity?”

Alex responded by stuffing an entire chocolate-covered strawberry into Maggie's mouth.

***     *     ***

Maggie paused in the heated kisses to Alex’s neck to bite her earlobe. “Mmmmff. Oh god I kinda love that.”

“How do you want me to make love to you?”

Alex squirmed as Maggie’s hand roamed down her chest and played idly with a nipple, lightly pinching. “Honestly, I want everything. I want you to touch me. I want to feel your tongue on me. I want you inside me.” She was beyond caring how any of this sounded.

Maggie’s arms tightened around Alex’s body. She kissed Alex’s lips so gently, sweetly, her tongue searching Alex’s mouth.

“Just please. Take me. I’m ready.”

Maggie got on top of Alex and ravaged her neck, her shoulders, sucked and moaned into her nipples, devoured her. She stopped to kiss Alex’s hands, returned to suckle Alex’s tongue in a deep, heated kiss every now and again. She worked her way to Alex’s stomach, where she nuzzled, rubbed her face, stroked with her fingers. Alex’s heart warmed as much as the fire between her legs burned. Maggie sat up and looked down at Alex, eyes brimming with love. She massaged Alex’s thighs, getting ever closer to Alex’s pussy, which had begun to drip now and again onto the sheets.

“Spread your legs for me, baby.” Alex did.

Maggie brushed her hands up and down through Alex’s neatly trimmed hair. Alex thought she would explode and looked at her girlfriend pleadingly. “Maggie, touch me, please.”

And she did. With both hands Maggie parted Alex’s outer lips, dragging a finger through the wetness. “Good. Very good.” She lowered her face towards Alex's center.

Alex looked down to see Maggie close her eyes at the same time as the electric jolt of Maggie’s tongue hit her clit and sent shock waves through her body. Maggie held Alex’s lips apart, she licked up and down Alex’s slit a few times. “You taste so good. I knew I’d love how you taste.”

Her head fell back after that, helpless to what Maggie’s tongue did to her. She felt Maggie swirl around her clit several times then begin to lick, rhythmically, softly. Alex’s insides turned liquid. She never believed anything could feel so good. Her hips rocked of their own accord. Maggie began to suck, and Alex bucked so erratically, Maggie had to hold her down with one arm for a moment until the bucking subsided. Then Maggie reached over and held Alex’s hand.

Alex grasped Maggie’s hand, and it melted her heart. The contact completed a circuit and felt so intimate, so loving, so perfect, she started to shake. Her pussy started to twitch. “Maggie, can you… finger… I…”

That’s all it took for Maggie to understand. She slipped a finger into Alex and let her get used to the feeling of penetration, then pulled out and pushed back in a few times, slowly. She replaced her tongue with her thumb and moved back up the bed. With a little help from Alex, she propped a pillow or two behind them with her free arm, then held Alex while she pushed gently inside her and stroked her clit.

“I’ve got you, baby. Just relax. Let me love you. I just want you to feel good.”

She felt her body begin to pulse around Maggie’s finger.

“Yes, baby, that’s right. I love being inside you. I love getting to feel what you feel.”

Alex looked into Maggie’s eyes. She still couldn’t believe the love that met her there, but her body believed it and responded with a jolt of pleasure that squeezed her muscles around Maggie’s finger.

“Good. Good. Just feel. Let go.” She bent down to kiss Alex while fucking her just a little harder and pushing up when she did.

“Ohh ohhh god. Uhhh.”

“Yes, baby. I’ll hold you. You can come for me. I’ve got you. Just give yourself to me. It’s okay. You’re safe. I love you.”

That was it. Those words tipped her over the edge. She gave herself to Maggie. Body and heart. Her mind, which had given her so much grief, simply shut off. Her heart expanded in her chest, her whole body exploded in orgasm.

Maggie kissed her as the waves hit her, one after the other. Her girlfriend kept pressing in on that one spot to prolong it. She moaned incoherently as extra wetness pushed out of her during a couple of the stronger waves at the beginning. Her body seized intermittently as the waves subsided and she began to catch her breath. Alex opened her eyes, and there was Maggie, still holding her, smiling, kissing her on the forehead, pulling her close.

She nuzzled into Maggie’s chest. Euphoric, moved beyond words. Unable to form a coherent thought. Awash in the immensity of her connection to this beautiful woman, who stroked her arms and back, smoothed her hair, kissed the top her head, whispered to her. “You’re so sweet. I love you so much. You’re beautiful. Thank you for being you.” Not expecting any response.

Slowly, Alex came back to herself, mildly disappointed to learn that she and Maggie were, in fact, two separate beings again. For it had felt like, for a time, that they weren’t. She squeezed Maggie fiercely. “I think if I squeeze you hard enough, I can squish into you and live inside you.”

“What if I want to live inside you?”

“Actually that’d be okay too.” Alex snickered. “Actually you can be inside me any time you want. Holy shit. I feel boneless. Is this what wrecked feels like?”

“Yeah, I mean there are various stages of wrecked, but yeah.” Maggie propped up on her elbow. “So guess what?”

“What?” Alex looked at her suspiciously.

“You’re not a schmirgin any more. We've officially had sex.” Maggie winked.

“Really? Cause I wasn’t sure. We might have to do it again to make sure.”

“Oh no. Not right now. I love you. And I love sex. And I love having sex with you. But I need dinner.”

Alex noticed the rumbling in her stomach all of a sudden. “Oh yeah, me too. But about the sex…”

Maggie fake-rolled her eyes. “Oh dear. What?”

“Did you say you bought something at that lady-owned sex store?”

“I did say that, didn’t I?” Maggie flashed her devilish grin again.

“What did you get? What did you get? Oh my god!”

Maggie smirked. “We can’t do _everything_ at once. Jesus, woman. All in good time. We have all weekend.” She leaned over and kissed Alex again. “I love you, my little sex maniac.”

“I love you too, Detective Schmirgin Deflowerer.”


	7. Firsts But Not Lasts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here you go - enjoy this journey of breakfast, sex, love, fluff, Maggie backstory (borrowed/adapted from episode 2x13 because it happened to already fit with what I had going in this story so why not?) and answers to questions like "what did Maggie get at the toy store?" Enjoy. 
> 
> And as always, I appreciate your comments.

A distinctly breakfasty smell wafted through the air and tickled Alex’s nose until she woke gently to an empty bed. She had that momentary startled feeling you get when you wake up in an unfamiliar environment until she remembered where she was, and more importantly, who she was there with. She smiled at her memories of the night before. No one could have had a more satisfying, loving first time, and she had her beautiful Maggie to thank for it. Her stomach rumbled at the tempting smell. Dressed in fleece pajama pants and a thermal shirt, Alex padded into the kitchen in sock feet to find Maggie at the stove.

“Oh. Hey there, sleepy head. I was going to bring you room service.” Maggie poured some coffee into a second cup, adding cream and sugar. “Steak and potato hash with eggs, from last night’s leftovers. How’s that sound?”

 “Delicious. Wow.” Alex’s eyes widened as she accepted the cup. “You know, you don’t have to spoil me like this.”

The same haunted look passed over Maggie’s face, the one Alex had seen a few times before. “Yeah, yeah I do. I… want all this to be good for you. Coming out, I mean. Your first time. All of it.”

Maggie turned to go back and tend the stove. Alex caught her by the shoulder with her free hand. “Hey, come back here. It is. Every second with you has been perfect. God. If I had to wait 28 years to get to celebrate Valentine’s Day with somebody, I couldn’t have asked for anybody more special than you.” She placed her hand softly on Maggie’s cheek. “But you can just be you. That’s all I want. You.”

Her dark eyes shone with the hint of unshed tears as she gazed up at Alex. “You deserve an amazing romance with a woman who is absolutely crazy about you. And I want to give that to you.” Maggie placed a soft, deliberate kiss on Alex’s lips before turning around to finish breakfast.

***     *     ***

The steak-and-egg hash tasted like it came from a four-star gourmet hotel kitchen. Alex finished hers in record time. Even the simple drip coffee made in the cabin’s cheap machine had at least as much flavor as the stuff Alex made in her French press at home. “You’ve really nailed breakfast, Maggie. How’d you learn to cook like this?”

“My aunt.” The now-familiar haunted look shaded Maggie’s face again for a fraction of a second.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, baby.” But she looked away, and Alex knew this was far from nothing.

“Please, Maggie. Don’t close down on me. On the ride yesterday when you told me about the painting and how you decided to become a cop, I really felt like I got to see you, the real you. This is a relationship. You can let me in.”

“Not everything I have to share is good, Alex. When I said growing up nonwhite, nonstraight in Nebraska wasn’t easy? Or when I said I’d been mistreated for being different? Well, that wasn’t just the kids at school.” She paused, took in a hard breath. “When I told you that my parents were supportive of my coming out, I lied.” She looked across the table at Alex, searchingly.

“What?” Alex had no idea how to react, but Maggie continued before she could.

“I had this friend when I was fourteen, Eliza Wilkie. We’d hang out in her parents’ basement watching horror flicks and smoking cigarettes. I… She was the first girl that I knew that I liked in a way that was…  different.” Tears began to form in the corners of Maggie’s eyes. “And I thought that she liked me too, so on Valentine’s Day I put a card in her locker declaring my feelings and asking her to the dance.” Maggie dabbed at her eyes with her sleeve. “Well, she gave that card to her parents. And that’s how I was outed. And then my dad kicked me out and I had to live with an aunt for three years.”

“Maggie, I’m sorry.” Alex still sat stunned, unable to move, unsure what to do.

“Yeah, it’s… whatever.” Maggie looked away, started to collect the plates to take to the sink.

Alex stopped her with a hand on her arm. “But, Maggie, I don’t understand. Why didn’t you just tell me the truth?”

“I didn’t want to scare you, okay? I wanted it to be better for you.” Maggie set the plates back down. “That’s what all this is about. Well, partly. Of course I want it to be happy for you because I love you, but I also want it to be better for you because…” A tear streaked the side of her face. “Because I wanted it to be better for me too. The truth is, I’ve always tried to stay away from Valentine’s Day stuff because it always brings up this shit for me. This fucking trauma of being cut off from the people I thought had my back. The shame of it getting spread all over school, losing my best friend, being so totally rejected by everyone who mattered. Do you know how long it took me to ever get the courage to care about anyone again after that, much less tell them that I cared?” The tears were streaming now.

Alex stood up, reached out her hand, and led Maggie over to the couch, grabbing a couple of paper towels on the way. She sat them both down and took Maggie into her arms, held her, let her cry, let her talk, let her pour out her heart as long as she needed.

“… so my Aunt Gloria ended up being pretty cool. She let me live there until I could get into college. I ended up dropping out so I could just get my GED and finish early. I took a job in my cousin’s bike shop in Albuquerque and went to junior college for two years. My grades were really good, and I got a scholarship so I could finish my degree at UNM. Nowadays I talk to my parents a couple times a year, see my siblings every now and then, but we’ve never really been a family since then.”

She sniffed, blotted her face with the crumpled paper towel. “Alex, I’m just so scared. I love you, and I’m falling so hard for you. I’m getting attached, and it scares the shit out of me. I’ve had a couple of longterm girlfriends and a few shorter-term ones, women I’ve on-and-off dated, but I haven’t felt about any of them like I feel about you. I never let myself. It never felt worth it. But with you it does.”

“What scares you about that?” It genuinely confused Alex. This whole thing felt so good to her. She couldn’t imagine being afraid. “All I feel is excited and happy.”

Maggie sat upright and looked into Alex’s eyes. “Good, baby. That’s what you should feel. I think. It’s just different for me because I’ve had people I loved and depended on and then had it all ripped away from me.” Her chest shook again, threatening sobs. “It’s not that I haven’t loved my previous girlfriends, but I didn’t feel… heard by them. I’ve never felt this close to anybody before you. And now that we’ve made love, it’s… more. I’m just… I didn’t expect it to hit me this hard. I don’t want to lose you.” Maggie burst into tears again and fell back onto Alex’s chest.

Seeing Maggie like this squeezed Alex’s heart almost to the point of breaking. She rubbed her hand over her girlfriend’s back and smoothed her hair, held her tight, let her feel what she needed to feel. She kissed Maggie’s forehead and whispered quiet encouragements to her. “Maggie, I don’t ever want to lose you either. I know I’m new at this. But I know how I feel. I’m yours as long as you want me.”

Maggie sat up again, grabbed Alex’s hand in both of hers, smiled through puffy eyes. “Okay, but what if I want you forever?”

A calm settled over Alex that she wouldn’t have imagined feeling after hearing such a thing. “That sounds pretty good to me.” She smiled at Maggie and pulled her in for a soft, slow kiss that tasted of salt.

Well, the kiss started slowly, softly. It heated quickly when Maggie straddled Alex’s lap and began grasping and nipping at her lips. Their tongues soon danced, and Maggie’s hands roamed insistently under Alex’s t-shirt.

Alex giggled as Maggie’s breath tickled her neck and then her ear. “I have an idea, baby. How about we use that nice Jacuzzi tub and take a bath?”

Before Alex could answer, Maggie had already hopped up and was halfway to the bathroom. By the time she had made it to the bathroom, Maggie had already started running the water in the tub and was preparing to brush her teeth. Alex decided to do the same, wishing to head off the looming specter of stale coffee breath. They made out some more while the water ran and the makeshift bath gel bubble bath started to foam.

Maggie slipped her hands back under Alex’s t-shirt. “I just can’t stop touching you.”

“Then by all means, please don’t.” Maggie pulled Alex’s thermal shirt over her head, then cupped her breasts and squeezed without warning. Alex moaned. “Okay, wow, I guess we’re not playing any games here.” She reached down and pushed Maggie’s sweatpants off her hips. They pooled on the floor, and Maggie kicked them behind her. No underwear. Alrighty, then. Alex grasped her girlfriend’s muscular ass and pulled their bodies closer together, shoved her tongue in Maggie’s mouth, happened to glance over at the water mid-kiss. She pulled away and rasped into Maggie’s ear. “I think the water’s ready.”

They hastily tore off each other’s remaining clothes and carefully stepped into the almost too-hot water. Maggie lay back against the far end of the tub, and Alex slid in beside her, slipping an arm around her shoulders. The weightlessness and warmth of being in water and the rush of feeling Maggie’s naked body against hers again hit Alex in a rush of sensuality. “Ohhhh my. There’s a lot going on here. It’s gonna take me a second.” Alex tentatively shifted a bit until she was on top of Maggie, luxuriating in the feeling of her girlfriend’s skin on hers, enhanced by the warmth of the water.

Maggie held her so close it became impossible to tell where her girlfriend ended and she began. It felt like heaven as soft hands smoothed over her back and thighs. She soon had to brace her arms to keep from slipping down into the water as they kissed. Maggie took notice and again held her with one arm and gently urged her to turn over, her back to Maggie’s front. Alex used her legs to lodge herself lightly against the side of the tub, and Maggie kissed her neck, ran her hands up and down Alex’s front slowly, sensually. She stopped at Alex’s breasts and massaged, pinched her nipples to attention, bit her neck.

She rubbed Alex’s stomach, glided hands over Alex’s thighs, got closer and closer to her center, played at her outer lips, traced a finger around her entrance and her inner folds, finally stopping at her clit. Maggie began to suck and bite at Alex’s shoulder as she massaged the hood of her clit, making deliberate circles, up and down motions, repeating these movements at an incrementally quicker pace. She finally settled on a rhythm that made Alex moan and writhe in her arms.

“Is that good, baby? Do you like to be touched this way?”

“God, yes. Mmmmmhhhh.” Alex’s hips moved in rhythm to Maggie’s hand, which sped up, growing slightly less gentle.

“Do you know what I want to do after we get out of the bath?”

“What? Ohhh…”

“I want to make you come a second time. In my mouth. I want to taste you while you come for me. Would you let me do that?” Maggie applied more pressure to Alex’s clit as she spoke.

Alex’s hips pumped erratically into Maggie’s hand. “Yes. Yes. Oh God, I’m ... right now… Oh god.” She felt her pussy clench several times in rapid succession as her body tensed, then exploded as she relaxed back into Maggie, panting. “Holy… shit. Ohhh wow.” She caught her breath. “You. Are. Talented.”

“It’s nothing but paying attention to cues… and caring enough to respond accordingly.” Maggie wrapped both arms around Alex’s stomach. “I just want you to feel good. That’s all.”

“Well, mission accomplished, Detective. But aren’t we actually supposed to be bathing.” Alex grabbed a tiny bottle of complimentary shampoo.

“That was part of the plan, I guess.” Maggie dunked her head under the water and turned around. Alex poured a small measure of shampoo and began massaging it into Maggie’s gorgeous hair.

***     *     ***

“So does that offer still stand?” Alex toweled her hair dry.

“What offer?” Maggie feigned innocence, giving an exaggerated shrug so that the towel she had wrapped around her body fell off abruptly.

“Race you to the bed!” Alex tossed her towel onto the vanity and sprung out the bathroom door and into the bedroom, launching herself onto the bed.

Maggie pounced on her, not far behind. “No fair, you had a head start.”

“I think maybe we both win this one.” Flipping over onto her back, Alex leaned up to give Maggie a quick kiss, which turned into a not-so-quick, exploratory kiss that had her riding Maggie’s thigh in no time. Before too long, she felt Maggie’s wetness sliding on hers as well.

“God I’m so turned on right now.” Maggie propped herself on an elbow and looked down Alex’s body. She bent down and took a nipple into her mouth. “You’re killing me, Danvers. Killing me.”

She pushed Alex’s breasts together a little and nuzzled her face into them, first one cheek, then the other. Occasionally she paused to suck a nipple, taking as much of it into her mouth as possible. Again, Alex saw that sometimes desperate, sometimes sated look she had noticed the night before. Maybe she understood better now. Maggie was a physical person, a woman who spoke with her actions more often than her words, but now Alex had known both. She knew Maggie’s fears now. Maggie feared love because she feared getting attached and having that love taken away.

Alex stroked Maggie’s hair. “Maggie, baby.” She had never called her girlfriend that before. But it felt necessary right now for some reason. “Baby, what do you need from me right now? Let me give you what you need.”

“I just need you… to… I don’t know. I…”

“What is it?”

“Can I… God I’m so turned on right now… Can I rub… myself… on your breasts?”

Alex didn’t say anything. Rather, she looked into Maggie’s eyes while she gestured to her breasts. Maggie looked back at her searchingly, and Alex nodded. Her girlfriend moved slowly carefully, as if afraid she’d scare her, thighs placed gently on either side Alex’s chest, she carefully gathered Alex’s breasts beneath her, spread her lips, and gently lowered her wetness onto Alex, aligning her clit with a nipple. She grasped the antique brass headboard to keep her weight off Alex’s chest.

Maggie began to move, shut her eyes, gasped at the contact. “Oh god… this feels… I can’t even tell you. Oh god.”

The look on Maggie’s face spoke of some sort of deep longing fulfilled. She slid back and forth, the wetness growing noticeably. She looked down at Alex and smiled, almost peacefully. She closed her eyes again, bit her lip, and groaned. Alex felt her own pussy throb in response to seeing her girlfriend so enraptured and experiencing her desire so tangibly on her chest. “Maggie, you’re so beautiful. I love feeling how turned on my body makes you.” She watched Maggie intently.

“Is it… is it okay if I… if I… oh god… come like this?” She looked legitimately concerned.

“Yes, Maggie. Please. Do it.”

Maggie leaned into the headboard, slipping back and forth at a rapid pace now. She shuddered and nearly screamed. “Uhhhh. Fuck. Oh. God. Ohhh… Uhhhhhh.” Her hips jerked a few more times until she caught herself and sort of fell over awkwardly onto the bed, presumably in an attempt to avoid squishing Alex. Moving down to join Maggie, Alex spooned her from behind and kissed her shoulder, reached a hand around her middle to hold her close. She felt Maggie shudder and thought it was an aftershock, but then she heard her sniff.

She rolled her beautiful girl over onto her back and grabbed a pillow to prop under her head. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“I think so. I’m just... I swear to god I’m not a cryer… You’re making me go soft, Danvers… I just…

“It’s okay. Whatever you’re feeling is okay. You can tell me about it… or not if you’re not ready.”

Maggie rolled over onto her side to face Alex. “I… don’t know what that was exactly, where I got the idea in my head I wanted to do that with you. I’ve never seen it on the internet or anything… never done it with anyone else… dunno just…” She looked down for a moment. “It felt like… sorry I don’t have any words for it. It just made me feel really extra close to you…” Maggie sighed. “Maybe you can just try it sometime?”

“I guess I’ll have to now.” Alex grinned. “For science. Also seeing you like that and, um, feeling how turned on it made you… did things to me too.”

“Oh really?” Maggie reached down and glided a finger along the crease between Alex’s legs. “Yes, I see what you mean.” She not-so-subtly licked her finger.

Alex felt her eyes go wide, “So about that offer…”

“Oh right!”

Maggie moved back up to the top of the bed and rearranged the pillows so Alex could prop up a little, then patted the bed, and Alex moved up to join her. She leaned over and kissed Alex’s cheek, whispered in her ear. “Just relax.”

She ran her hand up and down Alex’s chest and stomach, then moved on top of her, slowly kissing her way down to Alex’s thighs. She paused to kiss and bite there. With her thumbs, she spread Alex’s downy outer lips. “You’re so pretty, baby. So pink and shiny for me.” Alex barely had time to feel exposed with Maggie’s eyes on her thanks to the shock when Maggie moved in to taste her, no less of a jolt than the first time the night before. “Mmmmm. I could stay down here all day. You taste so good.”

Maggie licked her up and down, played with her inner lips, spreading them with her tongue. She slipped her tongue into Alex’s entrance and treated it like a regular kiss, sometimes sucking one lip, sometimes the other, sometimes dipping her tongue directly inside Alex as far as it would go, moving it languidly. Occasionally, she moved up to play with or suck Alex’s clit, but she never stayed in one place too long. It heated her whole body. She could tell Maggie loved doing this.

It didn’t take much of this treatment for Alex to start writhing, eventually crying out. “Maggie, please.”

Of course Maggie knew what she wanted and moved upwards to gently stroke Alex’s clit. She alternated between licking and sucking, circular movements and up-and-down strokes. They found that Alex responded best to a combination of up-and-down licking strokes and occasional sucking, and increasingly, both at the same time.

“More. Please… inside…” Maggie slid a finger into Alex’s pussy and began to move it slowly in and out. “No… I mean… two…” And with that, Maggie gently slid in a second finger, little by little, along with the first. She let Alex get used to the stretch before she continued. She moved slowly at first.

“Ohhhh. Yes. Good. So good.” Maggie took the encouragement and moved a little faster. Alex couldn’t keep her hips still. They rose up to meet Maggie’s strokes and her tongue. The amount of stimulation was almost too much, but it felt incredible.

Alex didn’t want it to stop. She actively tried to hold back so she could keep feeling Maggie filling her up inside, tasting her, fucking her, but then Maggie pushed up into her G-spot and it was hopeless. Her muscles tightened around Maggie, making her more conscious of the fact that this woman she loved so much was inside her, inside her body, making love to her, and she lost it. She felt full to bursting as her pussy pounded around Maggie’s fingers, and Maggie fucked her through it continued licking her as the waves washed over her, more waves than she could count.

It got a little much, so she gently touched Maggie’s head. “You can stop, but please don’t take your fingers out yet.” Her girlfriend complied, stayed inside her and lightly fucked her until the waves completely subsided. Alex let out a final breath and collapsed back into the bed. Maggie slipped her fingers out gradually, gracefully, then moved up to join her.

Alex curled into the beautiful woman beside her, pressed her face into Maggie’s chest, lost in the feeling of closeness brought on by their shared intimacy. She had never felt this kind of love in her life, once again astounded by the depths of feeling she had never known were possible for her. For anybody, actually. It felt like dissolving into a warm ocean consisting only of her and Maggie. It felt like enough. It felt like home. She hugged Maggie to her fiercely. As tightly as she could.

“What was that for?”

“Because I don’t have the words either.”

Maggie grinned. “Well, that’s a first.”

***     *     ***

They passed the rest of the weekend making love, cooking meals, watching movies, talking about nothing, talking about everything. Underlying all that, they spent it facing the not-so-scary prospect that they might really be meant for each other.

They even made it outside the cabin once. After the trails had dried off a bit, they went hiking. Maggie insisted on bringing a firearm. “Bears? Aliens with bad intentions? You never know.” They watched the sunset off the back deck from the hot tub while eating vegan chocolate ice cream. Alex even made her confession. “Fine I admit it. It’s not gross.”

Alex finally managed to find out what Maggie had bought at the sex store.

“Well, I know you love high-tech gadgets. So this is a pretty high-tech kinda thing.”

It seemed simple enough upon opening the box, which looked a little like something an iPhone might come in. Basically just two small, bullet-shaped, silicone-covered devices – one blue, one white – with two remote controls, an instruction booklet, and a magnetic charger base. There was also a silicone double ring accessory. Alex held it up. “Okay, so I get that these are probably vibrators. And they’re silicone and cordless, so presumably waterproof. But what’s this thing?”

Maggie grabbed one of the vibrators and inserted it into one of the rings, the other ring she put over two of her fingers. “See, the fingers go inside, while the vibrator touches outside – get it?”

“Oh.” It took Alex a second to compute. “Ohhhhh. I see. Yeah! Nice!”

“Yeah, they’re pretty versatile. This ring could also go on a dildo instead of fingers. Or you know, if we used a, um, strap-on, the wearer could slip one of the bullets inside the harness, or inside… herself… or both… The possibilities are kinda endless.”

Alex choked a little bit on the sip of beer she had tried to take. “Hold it. Ummm… Did you say what I think you just said?”

“The possibilities are endless?”

“Noooo… the other thing.”

“Oh the thing about using a strap-on?” Maggie flashed her signature devilish grin.

“Yes! That is the thing I meant. Is that a thing women like to do… I mean lesbians? I thought it was just something they do in porn. I mean. We’re not into penises right?”

Maggie sighed. “I guess we’re gonna have this talk now. Okay.”

“This talk? I do have to say I’m a little curious. The thought had crossed my mind.”

“Well, you did say you wanted to do ‘everything.’” Maggie grinned and waggled her eyebrows unsubtly. “So here’s my take. First, yes, a lot of lesbians do like to use strap-ons. Not all, but in my limited experience, well over half. Second, I don’t like the ones that look like actual penises. Gross. I like the non-representational ones in crazy colors. And third, I don’t think of it as a penis substitute, more like a hands-free finger substitute I can control with my hips.”

“A finger substitute you can control with your hips… but it’s not a penis. Ok. Wait, what?” Alex felt a little skeptical.

“Yeah. I mean, for one, they’re detachable. I can pick any size or shape or color I want. They don’t… uh… deflate at the wrong moment. I mean, penetration isn’t just for heterosexuals.”

Alex thought about what they’d already done in bed. “No I suppose not.” She couldn’t say she hadn’t thought about what it would feel like to use one. “So, do you like to, uh, give or receive?” She was really extra curious now and could not stop the mental images from forming.

“Both.” She gave Alex a knowing smirk. “You seem… interested.”

“I might be.”

“Okay, then I might file that away for future reference.”

Strangely, Alex felt a little disappointed. “Oh, I thought you might’ve brought one with you.”

Maggie’s smirk grew into a smile. Her eyes sparkled. “Well… I didn’t exactly know how up for adventure you might be… so I kinda did?”

“What?” Alex jumped up off the couch. “You did? I don’t know if I should be flattered or scared. Go get it!”

Maggie disappeared into the bedroom and came back out with a drawstring bag, tossed it to Alex, whose heart sped up as it landed in her lap.

“Well, go ahead then. Take a look. Everything’s clean. Don’t worry. You can sanitize silicone by boiling.”

Alex pulled open the bag. It contained three different dildos and a harness. “Okay, well, this is quite the selection.”

She inspected all of them. One of the dildos was pretty long, in Alex’s estimation, also kind of thick but squishy and metallic purple, softly ridged. Another was smaller, silver, smooth and kind of in three segments that graduated in size. It was curved, not much thicker than two fingers at the thickest part. Hmmm. The third was sized midway between the two, also curved, kind of bulbous on the end, and black. It was hollow in the middle. Alex guessed one of the small vibrators could be inserted in there. Interesting. The harness was styled a lot like Maggie’s favorite biker jacket. Leather, black, studded. It figured. Alex smiled to herself. She became aware that Maggie was watching her as she looked over the collection.

“So what do you think?”

“You’re right. I guess they don’t really look like dicks. Which one is your favorite?”

“I guess maybe the middle one. I’m kinda eager to try it with one of the bullets inside it.” Maggie looked over at Alex, maybe a little tentatively.

Alex felt her ears heat up for the millionth time. “Um… I guess you mean having it used on you then?... because I’d be happy to… do that for you.” She looked down, avoiding Maggie’s gaze, not sure why. “But I might need a glass or two of wine first.”

“Oh, maître d', may I have a look at the wine list please?” Maggie snickered and got up to open a fresh bottle.

***     *     ***

They had been fooling around on the bed for some time. Maggie planted a kiss on Alex’s cheek. “I’m ready if you still want to.”

Alex felt her heart pound harder at the thought. “Oh I definitely still want to. Just give me a second.” She got up and went into the bathroom to put it on. The straps were a little more complicated than they looked. She tightened them as tight as they would comfortably go. The thing stuck out from her crotch at an odd angle. It looked ridiculous in the mirror, felt awkward. Alex felt pretty self-conscious, but here goes.

She stepped out into the half light of the bedroom. Maggie lay on the bed, legs spread. Alex’s brain melted. The self-consciousness stayed in the bathroom, now forgotten. Alex lay down on her side next to Maggie and ran her hands over Maggie’s skin, watched in awe as her girlfriend shivered. She kissed Maggie’s lips and neck, touched her breasts reverently, whispered in her ear. “I’m not sure how you want me to do this. I’m going to need you to talk me through it again.”

“Of course, baby. Of course.” Maggie kissed her. “Is the white bullet in there?”

“Yes, and I have the remote.”

“Good. Then first I want you to put the blue bullet inside you. And I’m gonna keep the remote to it.” Maggie purred. Alex gulped, then reached over onto the nightstand for the other bullet and complied.

Maggie rolled over onto her stomach, formed a couple of pillows into a kind of wedge shape under her middle. She got onto her hands and knees in a low crouch, partly supported by the pillows, her ass in the air, pussy exposed. “I want you to fuck me from behind, okay?” Alex swallowed hard and felt her pussy clench on the blue vibrator.

Maggie continued. “It’s gonna be a little tricky. First, I want you to angle the dildo so the curve is pointing downward.”

The sense of that instruction didn’t dawn on Alex right at first until she realized the purpose of the curve, where the dildo would be hitting inside Maggie. She followed her girlfriend’s direction.

“Now I want you to put some lube on two of your fingers and rub it all around my pussy. Inside too. I’m already wet, but more is better with toys.”

Alex snapped open the cap and generously applied the slippery stuff all over Maggie’s pink folds. Her girlfriend moaned when Alex pushed two fingers inside. It was a special treat to get to explore Maggie’s pussy this way. Alex became entranced watching her fingers become enveloped, feeling the the different textures inside.

“God, that feels good. I kind of don’t want you to stop. But I want you to fuck me. Put some lube on the dildo too, then use your fingers to guide it into me, slowly at first.”

Again, Alex followed Maggie’s instructions, spreading as much lube as she could onto the toy without dripping it everywhere. She angled her body to line up with Maggie’s entrance, then slid in first with her fingers so she could guide the toy into Maggie’s pussy.

“Ahhhh. Yessss. That’s good. Yes.” Maggie let out a long, slow breath. “Just give me a second to get used to this. It’s been a while. And then you can start moving. You can turn on the vibrator whenever you want, adjust it to whatever setting you want. I’ll do the same.” She laughed an evil laugh. “Just a word of caution. Don’t pull out too far or it’ll fall out, and you won’t notice. Just pull back a little and thrust or grind back in. Hold onto my hips. Whatever’s comfortable.”

The tension that had begun to coil in Alex’s center only increased. She pushed further into Maggie until she bottomed out, flush against Maggie’s backside. She gave Maggie a little grind that elicited a deep moan. The thought of being buried to the hilt inside her girlfriend made her drip.

“You can move now if you want to.”

Alex pulled back a little, pushed back and watched the dildo disappear into Maggie. She had never seen a hotter sight in her life, thought she might pass out as she did it a few more times and felt Maggie push back towards her. She remembered the vibrator inside the dildo and decided to turn it on, then moved it up a couple of settings. Maggie jumped slightly when she first felt it. Alex grabbed Maggie’s hips and ground into her a little harder.

“Oh fuck. So good. Yess. That’s right, baby.”

That same animal, feral feeling that broke loose inside Alex the morning she had humped Maggie’s ass in bed came back with a vengeance now. Her hips took a mind of their own as she began to pound into Maggie over and over. “Oh god Maggie, you are so hot. I love fucking you.”

“Then you’re really gonna love this.” And Maggie turned on the vibrator inside Alex.

Alex managed to keep up her rhythm at first, but then Maggie upped the setting, and the vibrations grew stronger. “Oh fuck. Oh god, Maggie.” But she kept ploughing into her. She leaned over, pushing onto Maggie’s shoulders for stability, pinning her to the bed.

“Yes, that’s right. Fuck me. Give it to me. Harder.”

The vibrator inside the dildo. Alex remembered it and turned it up on Maggie, then pushed her harder down onto the mattress and fucked her harder. They were both sweating now. Alex tossed her head to try to get her hair to stop sticking to her face. Her legs started to shake. Oh no. Oh fuck no. “I’m… Maggie… Oh god… I’m…” She shuddered and came, even as she stayed inside Maggie, even as the vibrator kept buzzing inside her.

“Yes, baby. I can feel you coming for me. Take your time, baby. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

Alex hung on to Maggie and hoped the shockwaves jolted through Maggie as she felt them. She started moving again as soon as she could, working back up to fucking Maggie as hard as she had, not far from being as turned on as she was before she orgasmed.

“Oh god, yes. Fuck me. That’s right.”

She leaned in as she banged into Maggie’s backside. At this angle, Alex could feel the vibrations from inside the dildo on her clit with every stroke. It worked her up again in no time. “Maggie, you’re so beautiful, so sexy. I want you every second. God. I love. Being. Inside you. This. Way.” She punctuated her words with thrusts. Each one became more erratic even as she tried hard to control them.

Maggie had begun to shudder and cry out. “Yes, oh God. Please don’t stop. I’m gonna… I’m gonna…” She pushed hard into Alex’s hips. Once. Twice. A third time. She screamed, partly muffled by a pillow. Her whole body shook.

Maggie was coming with the dildo inside her, with Alex fucking her, and the thought of that sent Alex back over the edge. “I’m coming too. Oh fuck…” Alex held fast to Maggie and continued to pulse her hips as Maggie screamed, even as her whole body shuddered along with Maggie’s. Her pussy clenched time and again around the vibrator. Her whole body tensed several times, then released in one big shudder. She collapsed onto Maggie’s back. The dildo slid out as they both fell over.

The sound of panting filled the air. The room smelled of that heady mixture of sweat and girl. Alex moved Maggie’s hair out of the way and kissed the back of her neck greedily. She hugged Maggie to her with both arms. The protective feeling she had felt that morning in bed the week before returned.

Alex realized she would do anything for this girl in her arms. Anything. There weren’t enough words to express it, but she would try. Maybe for the rest of her life. Maggie deserved no less. She whispered in Maggie’s ear. “I love you, Maggie. I can’t promise I’ll be perfect all the time. But I’ll always stand up for you. And take care of you. I won’t let you down. Thank for giving me a chance.”

Alex felt immense, unstoppable, complete, when Maggie turned around, cradled Alex’s face in her hands and kissed her lips with a response that didn’t require words.

*     *     *

They had packed up the car and followed the cabin’s check-out instructions. They had just done the final walk-through to make sure they had gotten everything.

Alex brought Maggie a small box tied with a red ribbon. “I got you this. Not sure why I waited until now to give it to you, but here.”

Carefully, Maggie untied the bow and slipped the ribbon off the box. She opened it to reveal a newly cut key.

“It’s to my apartment. You can come over – and by that I mean stay over – anytime you want. You don’t even need an invite. I hope that’s okay.”

Maggie smiled, fished into her pocket and pulled out her key ring. “Actually, I had the same thing in mind.” She pulled a key off of the ring. “I wasn’t sure when I’d give you this, but I knew I was going to sometime.” She handed it to Alex. “And same thing. You don’t need an invite. Any time.”

Alex launched herself at Maggie, hugged her. Maggie returned the hug, equally tightly, stroking Alex’s hair. She pulled back and kissed Alex’s lips. Alex looked down at her, then the floor, a brief rush of sadness washing over her. She couldn’t keep it off her face.

“What is it, Danvers?”

“Well, it just hit me all of a sudden. After this weekend, I’m gonna be really sad to sleep alone. Do you want to stay over tonight?”

Maggie smiled up at her. “I think we can work that out. We can stop by my place when we get back in town. I’ll drop off some of this stuff, pick up some fresh clothes for tomorrow.”

“And the next day.” Alex looked at her hopefully.

“Probably.” Maggie laughed and brushed shoulders with her playfully.

“And the day after that?”

“I could be convinced.”

They held hands on the way to the car. This wouldn’t be their last Valentine’s weekend at the cabin. Not by a long shot. Alex smiled to herself. She’d had so many important firsts with Maggie, but they had so many firsts ahead of them. Together.


	8. A Lifetime of Firsts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helloooooo... and guess what? After Supergirl 2x19, wherein Maggie refers to "a lifetime of firsts," I couldn't not add a chapter to this fic. I absolutely had to. So here you go, my dears: more Sanvers lovesmutlovefluff to enjoy.
> 
> This chapter incorporates / expands upon existing scenes from 2x19. Still Alex's POV. I still <3 these two sooooo much.

Alex considered that she might not make it out of this kidnapping situation alive, and she had important things to say to Maggie. Final things. Words Maggie surely wouldn’t want to hear, but her desperation compelled her. The water crept up around Alex’s feet. The clock ticked down, and the team had made no progress in finding her. It didn’t look good, and Alex needed to connect with her girlfriend. No, please. Alex would think of Maggie as she really was: the love of her life. Beyond anything the word “girlfriend” could convey.

Of all the villains Alex and her DEO team had fought and defeated, she balked at the idea that this stupid douchebag Rick Malvern might actually end her days on Earth, but she had to face the reality. With Maggie. As best she could. Alex put on a brave face.

She spoke into the camera. “Maggie? I… I need to speak to you. Alone.” Agonizing seconds passed.

“Babe, everyone here is working hard, and we’re gonna find you.” Maggie’s tone sounded a bit hushed now, but Alex heard her okay.

“The water is rising fast, and there are things that I need to say.” Alex looked into the camera, pleadingly.

A desperate edge clung to Maggie’s voice. “No. Don’t start talking like this. This isn’t the end.”

“I don’t want it to be, but in case it is –“

“It’s not!” Maggie cut her off. “You’re a badass, Danvers! You’re gonna figure out a way to get yourself outta there. You’re gonna hold on until I find you.” Alex heard the tears forming behind Maggie’s voice.

“Maggie, listen to me please –“

“No! Okay, we just started this, you and me.” Alex let Maggie go on this time. “And it’s not gonna end. Not today. Not for a long time. We just had our first Valentine’s Day, and I wanna do more with you. I want more firsts.”

Alex listened as Maggie continued, caught up for a moment thinking about the life they had only just started to build together. “I wanna have a first vacation. We haven’t even argued about where to go yet. Or how to load the dishwasher. Or what to name our first dog.  Do you wanna get a dog?”

 “Um, let’s name her Gertrude.” Alex had actually considered this before, maybe even fantasized about them walking Gertrude around the park. Gertrude was a hound dog, or maybe a shepherd mix, with silly floppy ears and trusting eyes. Alex almost smiled, became nearly able to shut out the horror of her surroundings. For a moment.

 “See? There are a lifetime of firsts that we’re gonna do together, so you hold on, okay? Hold on until I get to you. You promise. Promise me.” The desperation in Maggie’s voice squeezed Alex’s heart.

“I… I promise, Maggie. I promise I will. Somehow.” But the buzz of the transmitter had gone silent. Alex found herself alone in the room again. She fought the instinct to panic, swallowed the need to cry.

The water swirling around her legs didn’t give Alex time to cry or lament. She could only let her training take over. She planned, inventoried her resources, breathed herself calm, refused to panic, and went over and over possible scenarios in her head. Alex had drilled for years on all kinds survival skills, and she would survive. For Maggie, for Kara, for her team, and despite their differences, for her mom – maybe even her dad if they could ever get him back in non-brainwashed condition. She had to live for all of them, but especially for Maggie and Kara. And right now she could only think of Maggie. She had fought so hard to become herself with Maggie and loved her with an intensity that overwhelmed them both sometimes. She would do this. She had to.

As the water continued to rise, Alex did her best to lean against the wall and eventually float, conserve her energy, not flail and exhaust herself. She would have to tread water and cling by her fingers to the chain-link that lined the top of her tank soon enough. Punching her way out proved futile, though she let her rage get the better of her a time or two and gave it her best shot. The valves on the pipes leading into the tank may have been attached merely for show because she doubted that even a crowbar would have budged them. They appeared to have no function whatsoever.

When the water reached chest level, Alex used a Navy Seal trick she had learned in training and trapped air in her pants to turn them into a floatation device. DEO-issue tactical pants were designed to serve that function, though she never imagined she’d actually have to do it. She used them to save her energy as she came to reach the top of the tank. As one might guess, that asshole Rick had designed her watery cage in such a way that the chain-link stopped before the tank ended, so it would guarantee her drowning if no one got there. And naturally, he had stripped her of her multitool and her Swiss army knife after he rendered her unconscious. Otherwise she would’ve certainly cut her way out. Instead, she clung to the top of her captor’s trap with her fingers and toes, breathing with her lips and nose poked through the wire links until the water started to fill them. The only thought in her mind was, “Survive! Survive! Hold on!” She did what she promised Maggie.

At the last possible moment, Alex sucked down the remaining trapped air from her pants, but she knew it wouldn’t last.

Rather than use up the oxygen struggling, she held her breath and sank.

People who come back from near-death experiences often report that when you know you’re in the last moments of your life, you kind of accept your fate. It’s often peaceful. That’s when you have that “life flashing before your eyes” experience, brief snapshots of time spanning years, passing in mere seconds. You come to accept the life you led, who you were, what you experienced. People often find some meaning, some satisfaction. Alex had that too. And despite the fact that she had only spent the past several months of her life with Maggie, so many of those snapshots included her beautiful detective’s loving smile, kind eyes, warm skin, and silky dark hair.

“A lifetime of firsts” echoed in Alex’s mind. She saw their first kisses, both the stalled one in the bar and the real one, the one that truly mattered. Holding Maggie’s hand across the table on their first date. The exhilaration and wonder of making out for the first time. The initial moment Alex fully understood what it felt like to be loved. The shock of touching Maggie’s skin, of experiencing the beauty of her body for the first time. Alex felt once again the swell of courage in her heart when she told Maggie “I love you.” She recalled vividly the first time they made love, how it seemed to Alex they’d merged into one singular being, become something else beyond the sum of the two of them. All these images and impressions flashed by in seconds, but it felt like far longer. Alex yearned to live there, in her heart, floating inside images of her life with Maggie. It felt like solace, though far too short.

But a wall of darkness closed in around her, the vision of her mind’s eye blackened to nothing. She felt nothing. Was nothing. It felt surprisingly peaceful.

Then noise. Muffled crashing. A mad rush of water and air. Splashing out onto a hard surface. Then nothing again.

Alex woke up coughing, spluttering out water. Breathing. Breathing air. Hands. Maggie’s hands. Maggie’s arms holding her. Maggie’s face looking down at her. Kara too. Kara holding her hands.

Lips, Maggie’s lips on her forehead. “You held on.”

“I held on.”

Shivering cold now. But alive. Alex had held on, just like she promised Maggie. And now here in Maggie’s arms, tended by her sister, surrounded by the two women who meant the most to her in the world. She looked up once again to make sure they were both really there, that she wasn’t caught up in some near-death vision. The chill of the unyielding concrete beneath her bare legs gave her enough of a dose of reality. She concluded that this was no trick of her mind. Kara smiled down at her reassuringly, but just then Alex’s vision darkened back into nothing.

Somewhere in the periphery she fell into occasional semi-consciousness. Alex had the occasional sense of movement, of beeping machinery. She heard hushed voices. At some point she smelled the familiar chemical disinfectant scent she associated with medbay at the DEO. Time passed, but she had no sense of how much, as she tried again and again but never fully gained consciousness. Again and again she succumbed to sleep.

Finally light, distinct sounds. She opened her eyes. Yes, medbay. Definitely medbay. Despite slightly blurry vision, Alex recognized the distinct form of Maggie standing across the room, looking out at the muted lighting in the science section at the DEO.

Alex called out to her in a rough whisper. “Hey you.”

“Hey.” Maggie rushed over to sit on the bed next to Alex, her face filled with obvious relief.

“You okay?”

“Am I okay? Are you kidding?” Maggie’s face broke open in a gorgeous smile as she grasped Alex’s hands. “That was really clever with the whole Navy Seal thing and your pants. What was that?”

Wheezing a little, Alex laughed, but it felt like being alive. “I dunno. I knew I just had to buy a couple of seconds. I knew you were coming.” She met Maggie’s eyes. “You didn’t let me finish before, but I, um…” Alex paused for breath, still struggling to get all the air she needed.

“What?” Maggie whispered too, matching her tone.

“I just really have to say it now.” Alex moved up to a sitting position, even now reluctant to accept Maggie’s help. “It’s okay, it’s okay.” She took another deep breath and whispered another subvocal, “okay” before continuing. “Those firsts that you talked about. I want to have them all with you. I never want to stop having firsts with you.”

Alex reached up to tuck a strand of dark hair behind Maggie’s ears, the same romantic gesture she had performed just after Maggie had kissed her for the first time, the real first time. “I love you, Maggie Sawyer.”

She had said it before of course, but they hadn’t ever talked about their future in any concrete terms. They had alluded to forever, but hadn't made real plans. God, how Alex had wanted to, but she hadn’t traversed the subject, not yet. She had feared scaring Maggie away, feared appearing too clingy.

Funny how life-or-death situations make you bolder. That’s what had driven Maggie to come to Alex's place on Pizza Night: getting shot on the job, her life endangered. And this time only made it more apparent. They couldn’t wait anymore. Forever needed to start now.

Maggie looked as though she might burst into tears. “I love you, Alex Danvers.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

They reached for each other in what Alex would come to think of as their third first kiss, the one that started their lifetime of firsts. Though her lips touched Maggie’s now for the second time that day, or night, or whenever it was – Alex had no idea, actually – this was a wholly different kiss than the goodbye peck they had shared before parting ways to leave for work. Sure, they had both chosen dangerous professions, but neither of them had seen such a direct threat to their lives or happiness as this incident had bought. Alex had certainly faced death in her service to the DEO before, but never so closely, and never with so much to lose. She poured her heart into this kiss, poured her forever into it.

Maggie’s arms spread around her, held her close. Craving more of Maggie than she could reasonably have in this semi-public setting, Alex kept her hands in check, remaining above her beautiful detective’s clothes. She indulged in the one intimacy she could probably get away with and delved into Maggie’s mouth with her tongue. The contact and the soft moan it elicited from Maggie sent a shock of arousal from Alex’s heart to her now pulsing nether regions. Alex smiled at this reminder that she was, indeed, fully alive and in the arms of the woman she loved.

But at that moment she also found herself gasping for breath again, having gotten a little too worked up so soon after the strain her lungs and body had been through.

“Woah there, Tiger. We’re gonna have to calm down for a minute. J’onn said you’d need to take it easy for a while.” Maggie placed a gentle hand behind Alex’s head and laid her back onto the mattress. “How about we get you something to let you rest a little longer?” Maggie reached over and thumbed a button to buzz the medbay staff.

“Maggie?” Alex looked up pleadingly at her girlfriend. “Please stay here with me. Don’t go.”

“Baby, I wouldn’t dream of it. I’ll be right beside you the whole time.” She grabbed onto Alex’s hand as a DEO nurse entered medbay with a prepared injection. “You just need to rest so your body can heal. I’ve got you. You’re okay.”

Alex felt the calming presence of Maggie beside her, holding her hand, lightly rubbing her arm as she drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

***          *          ***

The distinct smell of takeout coffee and breakfast woke Alex before she even opened her eyes, her awareness still somewhat dim. She slowly recognized her surroundings – medbay – and remembered what happened. She cracked her eyes slowly. Ugh, bright lights. Maggie. She moved to get up.

“Slow down there, Danvers. Let me help you.” Maggie rushed over with a hand on Alex’s back to steady her. “How are you feeling?”

“Better, I think.” Her voice still felt a little raspy, and she felt groggy from the injection. “I’m really hungry. Did you bring us breakfast?”

“I did, thinking you might be waking up about now, and if not, I figured maybe Kara would eat it.” Maggie handed Alex a wrapped breakfast sandwich. “Turkey sausage with egg and … cheese. Gross.” She caught Alex’s eye and winked, handed her a cup of coffee.

Suddenly a lot hungrier than she realized, Alex dug into the meal gratefully. “How long was I under?”

“Six hours since the last time you woke up. It’s about 7 a.m.”

“7 a.m. what day?”

“Everything went down yesterday. It was a really long day. You have two days hazard leave to recover. They don’t expect you back in until Monday. Med staff has to come check you, and if you’re not in any immediate danger, you can go home this morning.” Maggie took a sip from her coffee. “God, I’m so glad you’re okay.” She reached over and squeezed Alex’s shoulder, gazed at her intently for a moment.

“Did they apprehend Rick Malvern?”

“Yeah, I think he’s being moved for processing right now.”

“Oh, really?” Alex got a determined look on her face. She put down her half-eaten sandwich and moved to leave the room.

“No, ma’am. I’m under strict orders to keep you here in a medbay bed until you get a final checkup.” Maggie did her best to stand in Alex’s way.

“Maggie, that fucker almost torpedoed our lives together. The least you can do is help me see him off to go get what he deserves.” Maggie appeared to consider Alex’s words for a moment.

“Fine.” They walked together out of medbay, Maggie spotting Alex a little as they entered the DEO main hall, since the agent was still a bit shaky on her feet.

They spotted the group accompanying Malvern. Maggie greeted them. “She refused to stay in bed.”

Kara rushed over to her sister. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“I’m alright.” Alex wanted to brush all their concerns aside, but she understood her sister’s worries, considering the brush with death and all.

J’onn came over to both of them to give a solemn, fatherly pronouncement. “You did good, Alex. You too, Maggie.” He enveloped them both in a single hug. Alex relished the parental attention she received from J’onn.

“I just did what you taught me to.” He wielded his authority in such a way that Alex really did want to please him, not just in an employee-to-boss kind of way, but because his opinion of her work truly mattered.

“Oh. You survived.” The disappointed, snaky voice of Rick Malvern interrupted their moment with J’onn. Alex’s stomach clenched in a jolt disgust and anger. The sight of his face sent her into a seething rage.

Bless Winn Schott. He jumped in between them, the most aggressive Alex had ever seen him. “Oh, you do _not_ get to talk to her.”

Alex turned to J’onn, ignoring Rick Malvern’s existence for the moment. “What are you gonna do to him?”

“My job – protect the identity of Supergirl and the DEO.”

“You gonna mindwipe him?” Something brewed in Alex’s mind.

“Do you object?” J’onn looked at her, quizzically at first, then… knowingly.

“No… just, before you do that.”

Alex turned around, and without warning, punched Rick Malvern’s asshole face with everything she had. And that was a lot, considering her years of training and expertise in hand-to-hand combat, despite her compromised state at the moment. Malvern looked genuinely surprised and pained. He grabbed his bloody nose in handcuffed hands. Alex smiled at him, feeling especially alive. She glanced over to Maggie, who looked equal parts frightened and turned on.

Turning back to J’onn, Alex looked triumphant. “Just make sure he remembers that.”

Malvern was taken on through for further questioning and processing. Some of their friends would be giving statements, but before heading off to do their jobs, they crowded around Alex. They congratulated her for the well placed punch, hugged her, told her how glad they were she survived. Kara took Maggie off to speak with her for a moment. When the crowd finally dispersed again, the burst of adrenaline that fueled Alex’s confrontation with Malvern had now worn off, and she felt a wave of exhaustion. She slumped on to Maggie’s shoulder again as they headed back to medbay.

“I have to say that punch to the face was inspired. I didn’t know you had it in you.”

Alex scoffed. “Oh come on.”

“No, I just mean I didn’t think you had it in you _today._ I’m impressed.” Maggie’s dimpled smile shone in her eyes as she looked up at Alex.

“It had to happen after what he put us through. It’s the least he deserved.” Alex leaned on Maggie as they walked.

“I can’t argue with you there.”

***          *          ***

They had stopped at the supermarket on the way to Alex’s apartment after the DEO released her, and Maggie insisted that Alex stay in the car while she got what they needed. The detective had a day off coming up anyway, so she took hers to spend with Alex, probably just to make sure she really did comply with DEO orders and really did rest after the Malvern ordeal. Alex never believed she’d even think this, but there was more to her life than just a career, lots more, and Maggie had helped her see that. She valued any excuse to spend a day with her beautiful girlfriend, despite the shitty context in this particular instance.

“Here.” Maggie spread a blanket on the couch, then patted it. “I want you to lay down while I do a few things around here. Do you need something to drink?”

“No. I’m alright.” But Maggie showed up with a full water bottle almost before Alex could get the words out of her mouth. She sipped the water gratefully as Maggie covered her in the blanket and propped her up with a couple of pillows.

Alex watched her love move about the kitchen with unconscious grace. They had been together long enough, and Maggie had spent enough time there, that she knew where everything went without asking. Alex stepped out of herself for a moment, as though watching a familiar show on a stage. Every movement, though predictable, still enthralled her in its variation. Maggie’s habit of “stocking” shelves – first in, first out – a habit she had picked up from retail jobs she had worked to pay for college. Beautiful in its spartan simplicity, like Maggie’s direct approach to everything, like Maggie’s own beauty. God, Alex loved her. Everything about her, down to the cold toes she sometimes shoved under Alex’s legs at night to warm up. Having cheated death, Alex would never take a second of her life with this girl for granted again. Not that she had before, but she _certainly_ wouldn’t now.

“Maggie?”

She stopped in the middle of putting some hot chocolate mix into a cabinet. “What, baby?”

Alex started to cry out of nowhere. “You’re just… so beautiful.” Maggie put down the box and came to join her on the couch, grasped one of Alex’s hands in both of hers.

“What is it, baby?”

“I just… I thought I was gonna die.” Alex sat up a little more, still braced by the pillows. Tears rolled down her cheeks now. “I… everything… my whole life flashed in front of me, like they say it happens with a near-death experience…” Maggie reached for a tissue, handed it to Alex.

“I saw everything… everyone… Kara, my parents, friends… but most of all I saw you.” Alex dabbed at her eyes. Maggie stroked her hair, kissed her forehead. “I saw everything. I know it’s only been months, but I’m the most awake and alive I’ve ever been since I’ve been with you. All my important firsts, anything to do with love anyway, have been with you, and…” Alex gasped for breath again.

“Take your time, baby.”

Alex fought for control, breathed deeply. “…and what you said about ‘a lifetime of firsts.’ It just really stuck with me. That’s what went through my mind when I thought I was dying. It felt peaceful at the time because that’s what happens to your brain, you kinda have to accept it. But now that I’m okay, I’m so… It doesn’t make sense. I’m okay now. I’m alive. Why am I scared _now_?”

“It’s the trauma. What you went through was frightening. For me too, but most of all for you. You had to act while it was happening, and it’s catching up with you now. You know how it works. But that doesn’t make it any easier or less real.” Maggie pulled her close. “Just breathe, honey. Just breathe. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. Ever.”

“Ever?”

“Ever. I meant what I said about a lifetime of firsts. I’m so glad you held on for me.”

“Maggie?”

“What, baby?”

“Take me to bed.” Tears still streaked her face.

Maggie smiled at her, looking a little bemused. “Are you really up for that right now?”

“I don’t know, but I just really need to feel you. All of you. Please. I need you.” Alex couldn’t hide the desperation from her voice. “I just want to feel us. Alive. Together. Please.”

“You know I can’t say no to you. We’ll just have to be careful. Don’t expect fireworks or anything.” Maggie smiled, took Alex’s hand, and helped her up to standing.

They made their way to the bedroom, where Maggie undressed Alex quietly, kissing her gently each time her hands uncovered a new swath of Alex’s skin. She laid Alex down on the bed and undressed herself. Alex watched silently, her eyes still wet at the corners. She would never get enough of Maggie’s beauty. Her eyes and her heart couldn’t hold it all, but she didn’t dare look away either. Maggie slid into the bed next to Alex and pulled a sheet and blanket over them. Alex curled into Maggie and sighed in relief as their skin touched, their legs entwined.

She kissed Maggie’s lips, her tongue begging entry as she reached around Maggie’s shoulder and pulled her closer.

“Baby, lay back. I want you to rest. Let me take care of you, okay? Please?”

Although Alex had started out a little shy when they first got together, she had grown confident in the few months they had spent since Valentine’s Day. Still in the bonding phase of a relatively new relationship, and with Alex still coming into her own as a relatively newly sexual human being, they had sex A Lot. Not _every_ night, but every night they spent at each other’s apartments, which was several nights a week. If their work schedules conflicted too much, they had even managed to get together at lunch a couple of times. Once in Alex’s car. Okay, so that hadn’t been ideal, but thank god for tinted windows and mostly empty parking garages.

Alex felt she had missed out on a lot of experiences, coming out as a late twentysomething. So she was _very_ willing to experiment, especially being a scientist and all. Frequently, perhaps even more frequently than not lately, Alex took the lead on initiating sex. Lying back, letting Maggie do all the work, Alex felt a little guilty.

“Maggie, are you sure?”

The detective smirked. “Do you want me to get out my handcuffs or something? Is that what it’s gonna take to keep you in your place?”

“Ummm… I’m definitely not up for that right _now_? But let’s keep that idea in reserve, shall we?” Alex wheezed out a little laugh and lay back on the pillows.

Slowly, Maggie slid across Alex’s body, propping herself on her elbows, a thigh between Alex’s legs. She buried her fingers in Alex’s hair soothingly, kissed her lips over and over, softly, unhurriedly.

“Yes, just relax. Breathe. I’m not going anywhere.” She rocked her thigh softly between Alex’s legs, working her up slowly, imperceptibly slowly. Maggie alternated kisses between Alex’s lips and neck, occasionally dipping her tongue in, bringing Alex to soft moaning delight. She whispered in Alex’s ear between delicate neck kisses.

“I’m never going to be anywhere but by your side.”

“I love you, Alex Danvers.”

“I’m yours, Alex. I’m yours. Always.”

“I want to spend my life making you happy.”

“I feel you getting wet for me, baby. Yes, that’s right. Let me love you.”

Maggie traveled down Alex’s neck, onto her chest, planting soft, open-mouthed kisses along the way. She never bit, never caused any pain, only gentleness. Alex floated on a haze of soft arousal, eyes closed. She attempted to regulate her breathing and just feel loved, surrounded by the peaceful bubble of warmth and love so generously offered by Maggie. A wet softness engulfed one of her nipples, and she opened her eyes to see Maggie with that endearing satiated look she always got while enjoying Alex’s breasts. She sucked first one, then the other, taking as much into her mouth as she could, playing at it with her tongue. The stimulation and the sight of Maggie so enraptured turned Alex on, and as if on cue, she began to feel more wetness gather at her opening.

Still lavishing attention on Alex’s nipples, Maggie reached down to Alex’s slit and slowly parted her lips. She dipped a finger in to gather some of the warm silk that had pooled at Alex’s entrance, and then she played lazily at the folds with her fingers. Alex’s legs twitched.

“I… I won’t be able to take much of this. I… I…”

“Do you want my fingers or my mouth?”

Alex breathed a couple of times, consciously. “Please. I… Can you to take me in your mouth first? Then… then finish me with your fingers?”

“Of course, baby. Of course.”

Maggie worked her way further down Alex’s body, stopping periodically to kiss her stomach, her inner thighs. She finally made her way to Alex’s pussy and didn’t waste time teasing. She sealed her lips around Alex’s clit and began gently sucking.

“Mmmmmhhhmmm. Yes. Oh, Maggie. Thank you. This is perfect. Ohh god.”

Steadily and with a slow, pulsing rhythm, Maggie continued sucking the delicate nub, occasionally working it with her tongue. Alex lost her sense of time as this continued. Maggie’s tongue grew more rhythmic, and faster, the sucking more intense.

“Ohhhh god. Uuhhh. I… I… Can you…?”

Anticipating what Alex would ask her, Maggie slipped a finger inside, then a second. She fucked Alex slowly, gently at first. Alex grabbed at Maggie’s hair, her shoulder, pulled upwards. Maggie got the message, kept her fingers inside but moved up the bed. She lay a bit to Alex’s side, placed her free arm around Alex’s shoulders, pulling her close. Alex kissed Maggie hungrily, sucking Maggie’s tongue into her mouth. Her pussy tightened around Maggie’s fingers, greedily pulling her further inside, Maggie’s palm massaging her clit with every stroke.

Despite her somewhat compromised state, every cell in Alex’s body raged with fire, the fire of being alive and at home in her body. Instinctively, and without any conscious effort on her own part, she ground down into Maggie’s hand, pulled Maggie’s mouth onto hers in a fervent kiss. Her love for Maggie fueled her desire to connect with her like this – physically, through her body, this body, this body that had survived to be here, right now, with Maggie. To have Maggie, touching her, fucking her, inside her. To be known, cared for, loved this way was beyond anything sacred or profane.

As Alex neared her release, her life with Maggie flashed before her eyes again. Flashed forward. She saw them walking Gertrude the dog, taking Gertrude back to _their_ house. She saw them – _yes –_ getting married. She saw them traveling together, maybe even having a family. Getting older together. Having a beautiful life. She saw forever. She saw forever with Maggie, who loved her, who was right here making love to her. She had survived. For this. For her. She had held on.

“I’m right here, baby.”

“I love you.”

“Can you let go for me?”

“It’s okay.”

“I’ve got you.”

Alex took another breath, looked into Maggie’s eyes, at the depth of love she found there, and she came undone in her love’s arms. Her muscles fluttered around Maggie’s fingers, then expanded and clenched, pulling Maggie further into her as the waves crashed, rocking her body in repeated jolts of orgasm. Maggie stayed inside her while the waves slowed, coaxing as much pleasure out of Alex’s body as possible like she always did. She finally pulled out after Alex completely relaxed in her arms.

“You’re so beautiful, Alex. I’m so lucky to have you. God, I was so scared.” Maggie wrapped herself around Alex, held her, lightly rubbed her back.

Suddenly feeling another wave of exhaustion hit her, Alex started drifting off again, but she forced herself awake. “Maggie?”

“What, baby?”

“If we get a dog named Gertrude, doesn’t that mean we should probably live together? When you asked if I wanted to get a dog, were you asking if we can move in together?” Alex smiled lazily at Maggie. “I mean if it’s _our_ dog…”

Maggie appeared thoughtful for a moment. “I can’t deny your logic. I suppose I was implying that.” She grinned, kissed Alex on the forehead. “Alex, do you want to move in with me?”

“Yes. But should we wait a few more weeks so we hit the six-month U-Haul joke statute of limitations?”

“Good one, Danvers!” Maggie snickered. “But it’ll probably take a minute to find a house anyway.”

Alex breathed out a long sigh. “Okay. It is decided.” Going home at night would mean going home. Really going home. To Maggie.

She snuggled into Maggie, her head on her love’s chest so she could hear her heart. Each beat reminded Alex that they were alive alive alive. She had survived so she and Maggie could have this. She had held on not for herself, or just for Maggie, but for both of them.

As Alex drifted off to sleep, words popped into her head, a quote from her favorite book, _Contact_ by Carl Sagan, a quote she had dismissed as a bit of a throwaway line when she had read it as a teenager. She had loved the book for its scientific realism, its sense of wonder, and its strong female protagonist – not so much for the romance aspect. But the significance of those words dawned on Alex now.

> “She had studied the universe all her life, but had overlooked its clearest message: For small creatures such as we, the vastness is bearable only through love.”

Alex fell asleep tangled in the arms of the love of her life. Her heart brimmed full with quiet contentment, as if someone had handed her the missing piece to a puzzle she didn’t know she was trying to put together. A lifetime of searching, for what? She hadn’t known. And now she did. Just this, just this. Being here. Being alive. Loving Maggie and being loved by her. Finally home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really happy to receive your comments and will respond to each and every one of you.
> 
> Thanks for reading. :-)

**Author's Note:**

> I really appreciate all comments that people leave. Thanks for reading.


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